tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post2905448267936061075..comments2023-12-24T07:03:54.887-04:00Comments on Oasis Writing Link™: Airing Dirty LaundryCynthia Pittmannhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-70587056547774719942009-02-11T17:28:00.000-04:002009-02-11T17:28:00.000-04:00Sarah, yes over-sharing, how do we know when the s...Sarah, yes over-sharing, how do we know when the sharing glass in under or when it spills over? Thank you for your kindness and for clicking on the story of my mother's murder, "Goodbye Sun". I wrote about it in October and going through the details is too emotionally impacting...I gave the overview here...but how I actually feel is in the October story of my mother's murder. <BR/><BR/>You mentioned that I seemed balanced; I always consider the fact that so many have suffered (or are suffering) more than me...I have to be balanced to be of any comfort to others who may need me. <BR/><BR/>We all have that responsibility, I think. I appreciate your comment about manners...I never really thought that it was impolite to talk about forbidden subjects. You brought a new idea to my head- a reason we were taught to not speak of the "unspeakable"! (I better stop now the negatives in that sentence are getting out of control! ha) <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-10193485488032175932009-02-11T15:52:00.000-04:002009-02-11T15:52:00.000-04:00Funny graphic. Interesting words on over-sharing,...Funny graphic. Interesting words on over-sharing, but blogging is about sharing. You make your own rules. I'd pick honesty over manners.<BR/><BR/>How horrible that your mother was murdered! You have been through so much and yet sound so well balanced. That is a tribute to you and your mother.Sarah Laurencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00423008641739156182noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-61726938602752152802009-02-10T22:37:00.000-04:002009-02-10T22:37:00.000-04:00No messages received, today. Thanks for the email...No messages received, today. <BR/>Thanks for the email.xxAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-56678995376468587612009-02-10T17:05:00.000-04:002009-02-10T17:05:00.000-04:00Thank you for stopping by Lynn. I will check your ...Thank you for stopping by Lynn. I will check your daily blog more often though all of them seem interesting. I suppose 'good grief' is one way to see the post...I hope you have time to read sometime in the future. <BR/><BR/>You seem like a concerned and socially active person...with the 'around the world' quilt project...I did a post on quilts...connecting to the symbolic meanings... Thank you again for the visit and for answering my questions about your blog(s).<3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-85256512026750003752009-02-10T12:38:00.000-04:002009-02-10T12:38:00.000-04:00Good grief...there is a lot to read here. A lot to...Good grief...there is a lot to read here. A lot to see and a lot to take in. Thanks for coming by my blog today. You asked which one I used most. I think you can tell by the amount of posts on each, Lynn-Getting my feet wet, is my daily blog; Art quilts by Lynn is where I store my art quilt photos; the health one I started Jan. 08 and last posted in Sept. 08. It needs to be updated.<BR/>And the Around the World in 20 Quilts is a group endeavor with some women around the world I make quilts with (long distance). ;0<BR/>Lots of interesting things here to see and read. I will come back when I have more time.Lynn Cohenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12094038275377357886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-83726198349817022902009-02-10T12:15:00.000-04:002009-02-10T12:15:00.000-04:00Thank you, Pappy, for your visit. I know a lot of ...Thank you, Pappy, for your visit. I know a lot of people don't like to reveal too much. My father, in fact, was very reserved, which made it all the more delightful when he did say some private comment. He could be incredibly humorous in the most understated manner. <BR/><BR/>I certainly will come by again and I hope I didn't offend you with my comment about tax aversion. What can I do? Ya'll need a good rant ever' now and agin'! <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-9007784243261307162009-02-10T11:07:00.000-04:002009-02-10T11:07:00.000-04:00Cynthia,Thanks for coming by Pappy's Balderdash. ...Cynthia,<BR/>Thanks for coming by Pappy's Balderdash. It wasn't a really political blog in the past, but an increasing trend in the press to only cover one side has me feeling the need to rant. Interesting blog entry. I lived in Puerto Rico as a child and went back in college for a summer to work there. I was in San Turce and Ceiba. I'm no longer sure about the spelling of San Turce. I am of the cautious school when it comes to revealing too much of yourself to strangers. I am even cautious with friends. I think a lot of what is revealed on the net is a searching for those of like mind. I know when I write a personal piece, poetry or short story, others will attach their own feelings to my revelations and usually write prolific comments. Come by anytime, visitors are always welcome. Commenters don't have to agree with my views to be published. Have a great week. PappyPappyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13118854996343714131noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-15591337648418015322009-02-10T05:15:00.000-04:002009-02-10T05:15:00.000-04:00MLou, thank you for your supportive comment about ...MLou, thank you for your supportive comment about the importance of sharing secrets. I'll be over to visit you soon. <3<BR/><BR/>Queen Bee, I know exactly what you are talking about. We try to hide life from children so that when something shocking happens they only understand the that their is an emotion pressing on the people around and they are confused. They do need to be told as much as they can understand. YOu sound like a bright new dedicated teacher that parents would be lucky to have for their child. Good luck with your new profession. <3<BR/><BR/>Sukipoet, Thank you for your warmth and comforting words. I too find it hard to listen/read about tragic events. Whenever I hear the news or detective stories, I feel the pain of the 'storied' people. The treatment of their story is usually so superficial or made to shock that it seems that it is not quite about real people in real events. Only I don't have that filter. It's real to me. And it's okay, I think accepting pain makes it possible for me to feel concern and laugh so often. Otherwise, life is too numbing. I also avoid watching gratuitious violence in films. I space out my doses of vicarious emotion in great films too. Keeping emotional balance is important to me. Thank you again, Suki, for reading this. I know with your recent loss of your mother, and then your compassion for your son and his loss makes it more difficult to give space to others experiences. I do appreciate your gift of sharing. <3 <BR/><BR/>Hello Deepak, Thank you for finding your way here and sharing with me a bit. I hope you return again. You have a beautiful blog. <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-37776095454065145152009-02-10T00:01:00.000-04:002009-02-10T00:01:00.000-04:00what a beautiful topic ! I eally enjoyed it. In fa...what a beautiful topic ! I eally enjoyed it. In fact I learnt many things from this post. And your writing proves that you speak from your heart. Thanks a lot for leaving a comment onmy blog. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-61075151917250735612009-02-09T19:45:00.000-04:002009-02-09T19:45:00.000-04:00Cynthia, I have not been reading blogs for a few d...Cynthia, I have not been reading blogs for a few days so have only just read this. It is terribly sad, for your mom and her partner to die this way. Horrible and horrifying. I do think such a happening is a hard thing to share and from the side of listener hard to know what to say to a story so extreme and traumatic. I only can say I am sorry and send prayers to you and your family. The memory of the murder will be there for your whole life. The family history and story. Sending hugs, sukisukipoethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09351851210507048174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-14489525651840516212009-02-09T19:26:00.000-04:002009-02-09T19:26:00.000-04:00I'm a student teacher in Kindergarten and your lis...I'm a student teacher in Kindergarten and your list is exactly the things that we are not allowed to discuss in school. It's really sad because I feel that these are some issues that children should be taught to handle and helped to understand that they are not alone in dealing with these things.<BR/><BR/>Thanks for stopping by my blog!Queen Beehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11360614009515432561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-43794928965220583962009-02-09T18:28:00.000-04:002009-02-09T18:28:00.000-04:00Cynthia, Your openness is moving. I agree that the...Cynthia, Your openness is moving. I agree that the best way to defuse a secret is to let it out. I am sorry for your terrible loss but know within it there is a great gift.MLouhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17582309970588492985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-55500717170591814142009-02-09T13:53:00.000-04:002009-02-09T13:53:00.000-04:00Kim, thank you for your concerned and detailed res...Kim, thank you for your concerned and detailed response. I think the loss of a child is the greatest fear many people have. Many families break up after such a traumatic loss. Your friend was lucky to have your close support. And I do appreciate those who listen and reflect about this murder. <BR/><BR/>I know that we can change the passive attitude about discrimination if its impact is made known. My sisters are also helping with the documentary, we all do what we can. Thank you again, dear Kim. <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-75233406399501815442009-02-09T12:38:00.000-04:002009-02-09T12:38:00.000-04:00Cynthia, first of all, I am truly sorry for the ho...Cynthia, first of all, I am truly sorry for the horrific experience of loosing your mother in this hideous way. I am also grateful her story is not being lost and this documentary is being made of it and her partner.<BR/><BR/>This business of it being risky to share your stories or other thoughts with people is amazing, really. On the storyteller's part it is very much a part of self-protection. For those who hear the story, I cannot speak...most likely it is fear which drives them (as it drives any response of that sort). <BR/><BR/>My best friend of almost 35 years lost her only child when she was just shy of 5 years old. This daughter was born with issues to begin with, but this is her daughter. When she was born, my friend and her then husband and father of her daughter, saw their friends surround them with love or walk away from them. When their daughter died, the same thing happened. My friend said she quickly found out who her real friends were, but she also seemed to understand there are just people who cannot make a connection with anything traumatic. They cannot meet with the emotions and access their own feelings.<BR/><BR/>I think we all have issues which we do not share and issues we do not bring up...some, however cannot be helped as in your case. One thing I know for sure, though, is working through the issues which these times present makes us so much stronger when we come out the other side. I have also found, for me, being grateful to those who have provided me with this opportunity to become a better person is an important part of my healing.<BR/><BR/>You are obviously a very strong person, Cynthia...you can't help but be so with the challenges you have faced. I, for one, am very glad you have found the strength to share this story here...and grateful for the strength of the filmmaker to create this documentary of your mother's story!<BR/><BR/>I send you a very big hug!Andrea and Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15337904921232330088noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-16520125835287439392009-02-09T05:50:00.000-04:002009-02-09T05:50:00.000-04:00Thank you FF, for your empathy. I appreciate that ...Thank you FF, for your empathy. I appreciate that people have different privacy needs and your acceptance of my sharing means a great deal to me. <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-67902339293890273732009-02-09T04:54:00.000-04:002009-02-09T04:54:00.000-04:00I'm a bit too tired today to do your post the just...I'm a bit too tired today to do your post the justice it deserves. I found it so overwhelming and I felt so angry after reading about your mother's murder by this wicked man who also stood by and watched an animal roast to death, that I don't know where to begin. How much you have come through, Cynthia. I think it is good to talk about things, it gets them out of us - I applaud your view on life, your strength and the love you have for so much around you.French Fancy...https://www.blogger.com/profile/04941577892849157015noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-12640390404805073712009-02-09T04:48:00.000-04:002009-02-09T04:48:00.000-04:00Yes, Dianne, thank you for helping me to think mor...Yes, Dianne, thank you for helping me to think more specifically with your comments. Mom's inclusive personality did teach me to be more accepting toward others. <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-47797426625877538202009-02-09T01:58:00.000-04:002009-02-09T01:58:00.000-04:00Dear Cynthia,Thank you so much for sharing your de...Dear Cynthia,<BR/>Thank you so much for sharing your deepest thoughts with me in your reply to my comment. It is so cathartic to be able to express all these thoughts and memories about your life growing up in this very unique household. I'm sure living in an environment coloured by all these diverse companions must have made you very open and accepting of people. <BR/>Big personalities, such as your Mother will always have people either loving or disliking her, it sound as if you couldn't have a neutral attitude towards her!Diannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01013538024712245709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-73596664322387916342009-02-08T22:30:00.000-04:002009-02-08T22:30:00.000-04:00Thank you Daphne, I appreciate your thoughts and a...Thank you Daphne, I appreciate your thoughts and attempt to understand. You are right, with the interview coming up for the film, I have been trying to remember what I would like to say about her. Much love to you, dear friend. <BR/><BR/>Btw You both would have hit it off together because you both have the same social style. She included everyone, they way you do.Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-91085554028733424032009-02-08T22:07:00.000-04:002009-02-08T22:07:00.000-04:00I just wrote such a long message and it was delete...I just wrote such a long message and it was deleted. I think I said that I wished I had met your mother, she must have been fun to be with and she was a good soul who gave a lot to others. I also said that the man who killed her must have lived in constant turmoil in jail, and hopefully he regretted what he did. She cleaned her karma Cynthia; she came to this world to help others,she was a giver , she gave life to 5 children and helped many others. You should feel proud to have had her as your mother, her murder was probably a resolve from a previous life, it's hard to understand it now ,but when we get to the spirit world we will understand why things happen the way they do. She probably was that man's enemy in a previous life, and that had to happen. He has to make amends with her in the spirit world. I think you must be thinking about it a lot since the documentary is so soon, you are probably reminiscing how it happened, why it happened and so forth. Think that she is your hero, she has grace and peace now.<BR/>love and peace.<BR/>Denergizeyour lifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00845548609132034397noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-55941910436103368312009-02-08T13:22:00.000-04:002009-02-08T13:22:00.000-04:00Thank you, Dianne for your comment about the earil...Thank you, Dianne for your comment about the eariler linked story. I want to be open about the experience...not depressing...just honest about how we stereotype people and don't realize how they are vital and central to someone's life. My mother had five children, and she was involved in her grandkids lives...she also 'adopted' single mother's and their children. If only I could be as decent and committed as she was...she also was a founding member of a support organization, Affirmations, which helped people who had decided to stop hiding their sexual orientation. <BR/><BR/>My mother was strong, it's true, but she was a certain kind of rare strong...the kind that felt compassion for those who other's just couldn't deal with...people who asked for too much, who didn't know how to control their own desire for more. She knew how to explain to 'difficult' people in a way that continued to help them. She looked for ways to employ as many people as she could. She let them live upstairs in our farm house, which was spacious. When our family grew up and my father died, there was a lot of space...but how many people would be willing to share? She didn't just cut 'welfare' cases off, she saw people as down on their luck and worked with them...sometimes she wasn't in safe situations. I worried about her dealings with rough-edged people. <BR/><BR/>She was remarkable as an example of how to balance personal desire for advancement and how to bring others along with you. When she got her BA degree from Wayne State, she was 50 years old. I'm proud that she went to all of that trouble so that she could recuperate a lost dream. It has inspired me to not settle into an 'old me' feeling. I know that my limits are set by my own mind and that is the place to address personal changes.<BR/><BR/>My mother dealt with many rejections as I was growing up. Some people in our family and old friends didn't accept her big personality. They made fun of her boldness. She was sensitive but hid it. As a teen, I felt her rejection by conservative people-amplified Xs ten. But she always gave people a chance, and remarkably, they usually overcame their prejudice against her. That being said, she was tremendously valued by so many. Strangers immediately liked her-fell love with her. And she would make time for them. I had to get use to the fact that my mother was not just for me and my family...she was a big-hearted person who was available to others. Sometimes, I just wanted quiet and privacy. She was a social being who loved to laugh and love. I didn't ever have to reach out to people when she was around...she filled the space with lots of diverse people and innovative plans. <BR/>I left home early, disconnected, and from a long view, I was able to see who she was and I began to deeply appreciate her. Then she was killed.<BR/>Thank you for listening to my memories...I have notice your blog sharing...your 'dirty laundry' doesn't seem as if is piling up. <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-45874405945519019482009-02-08T12:32:00.000-04:002009-02-08T12:32:00.000-04:00Dear Cynthia,Thanks so much for sharing all of thi...Dear Cynthia,<BR/>Thanks so much for sharing all of this with us. I have been particularly touched reading the posting you made on your Mother's birthday, telling the story of her murder. She sounds like she was an amazingly strong individual person and there must be an incredible void in your life since she passed away. <BR/>I have found since writing a blog, that I am becoming increasingly honest and revealing with my words. Its the washing of the dirty laundry that makes each writer so interesting and individual.Diannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01013538024712245709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-33187159735303646552009-02-08T08:45:00.000-04:002009-02-08T08:45:00.000-04:00Welcome Lisa, I just came back from your music enh...Welcome Lisa, I just came back from your music enhanced blog. I enjoyed your list today! Playful. :-)Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-27242900438393724352009-02-08T02:28:00.000-04:002009-02-08T02:28:00.000-04:00ah, to tell or not to tell? yep, i know it well. ...ah, to tell or not to tell? yep, i know it well. Thank you for stopping by my blog and for the above posting- thought provoking and real. blessed be, lisa xxAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15047696858755347818noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-261918990960241225.post-1515986890118079302009-02-07T23:09:00.000-04:002009-02-07T23:09:00.000-04:00Hi Jen, I'll go over and check out your main b...Hi Jen, I'll go over and check out your main blog! Thank you for visiting and reading my story. I hope you won't be a stranger over here at Oasis. Your friend, Natalie, brightens my day with her sharing- both the funny side and difficult side of life. I'm glad I found her and I'm sure you are a delight as well. <3<BR/><BR/>Lori Ann, I sun salute in the morning, too! (Of course I'm refering to your post today.) Then I sit down for my morning meditation. That's my calming medication! Thanks for coming back. Also, thanks for the great links you provided today. <3Cynthia Pittmannhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12656761837022197235noreply@blogger.com