Friday, March 13, 2009

A Journey Back from the Past

As I left for the interview from the San Juan International Airport, I collected my thoughts by writing in a journal, reading newspaper clippings of the murder, and focusing on re-remembering. Sometime during this process, I looked out the window and saw the setting sun; I remembered the Goodbye Sun post and thought of how serendipitous life can be.

I brought photos to share with Brian Alexander, the documentary film maker of the Pittmann Puckett Story (working title). Who is that little perplexed girl scratching her head? She's thinking, "What's this life all about?"
My family of seven celebrated when we finally bought a VW bus- where we could at last have enough room. Before this time, we would all pack our sardine selves into a little VW bug- the Love-Too-Much bug. I remember one time we forgot to close the door securely and when my mother turned into the driveway on Middlebelt Road one of my siblings spilled out the door and landed shaken but unharmed onto the street!

My dad was a handsome man who used his serious face to control his wild bunch of children. When we got older, we realized the crinkled blue eyes were a give away. He was often laughing on the inside! Here's the famous serious Clint Eastwood expression of Dad's.

I grew up in a rural area of Michigan in a house that was built in 1936. I enjoyed Christmas with my family the most of all. I had hoped we would always stay together but life has its own twist and turns...
sometimes it makes knots...

Dad died in August 5, 1986 at 49 years.
This trip I had a chance to visit the Pittmann farm again.

It's shocking to think that my mother was murdered here on the half-circle drive.

Travel makes you think about new beginnings and new possibilities, don't you think?

These Michigan Bradford Pear tree buds want to bloom

...may the season favor their growth...

May all life have its chance to become.


Thank you dear blogger friends for your kind words of support.

I felt you all ever-present as I spoke during the interview.


  1. What wonderful pictures and commentary! I hope you shared everything that you wished to during your interview.

  2. Thank you again for the award! I posted it today.

  3. So glad you have returned, another journey complete and back to your sanctuary. A journey that begins with one step, and never ends, I hope your experience, while not easy, was another step to healing...

  4. You're strength are a continued tribute to your dear mother and her partner. Bless you Cynthia!

  5. Welcome home, sweetcheeks!
    Thank You for sharing those photos, I felt deeply sad at some of them,I can't imagine how you have been feeling all these years.

    All I can do, is say that I care and I am proud to know you for so many reasons.xx♥

  6. Oh Cynthia, what a beautiful, yet sad, but altogehter hopeful post. I love the pictures that bring back a nostalgic time of a place that seemed bubbling with children and happiness. What a tragedy about your Mom. I hope you somehow felt comfort when speaking. I absolutely love the way the pear tree buds lead to thinking about hope and promise for the future. Thank you Cynthia for sharing this.

  7. Missed you...hope the trip helped to heal a little more of what I know must be a never ending wound......

  8. as others have said, I do hope this trip and interview process has helped heal a bit more of this horrible wound... the pictures of your youth were especially touching and I thank you for sharing such a deep part of who you are...welcome home!

  9. It must have been very difficult for you, Cynthia but how wonderful for your mother's memory to be telling her story. I love these family photos.

  10. Cynthia, I am glad to have you back, and please remember, what my old mum (also gone before her time), had to say: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...

    Such wonderful memories in your snaps, C, so cool, and a VW bus, just wonderfully evocative of that time - I hope you rekindled some lovely memories, friend, I hope you have looked after yourself... x

  11. Thank you for sharing your life. I'm sending you thoughts of peace.

  12. Cynthia
    You have been on my mind. I cannot imagine
    the feelings and thoughts that would be centered around this experience.

    I see you as a wonderfully compassionate and aware person and I am sorry that this was a part of your life. I also know that you are handing this. I am glad for the documentary opportunity for your mother and your family.

    I love these photos. 7 siblings! I can well relate to that as my parents produced seven also. In reading this, I just realized that this is the reason i have always seen seven as my lucky number! :>)

    I look forward to hearing anything you would like to share as time progresses. If ever you need another one to one ear I am at

    Love and Light

  13. Yes, thank you for sharing Cynthia. I am so glad to know that you found some comfort and strength from all your friends here that care and love you so much. Bless your sweet heart.
    xx lori

  14. Cool sunset photo! I love your family album too. How sad to lose both of your parents prematurely. I have been thinking of you.

  15. Cynthia (MuseSwings)- thanks for the praise on my photo commentary. I was going for a photo-journal-poetry feel :-) and you certainly deserve the award, friend!<3
    Teri, yes, certainly this is mountain is my santuary where my unconditionally loving Miss Junie Cat and the nine canine terrors keep me company when everyone else runs about! (I know you appreciate the sentiment with all of your furry critters.)<3

    Sheila thank you for your comments and your understanding about my mother's story...I do intend it to be a tribute. <3

    Michelle, thank you for your support and reading my reflection. May you have all the suppport you need for you own challenges. <3

    Natalie, cute, Natalie! I'm proud to know you too. (I don't think anyone has ever called me sweetcheeks!)<3

    Ms.Lucy,thank you for giving my words and photos your kind and careful attention. I love the vunerable pear buds, too. <3
    Carol (The Writers Porch), yes it is healing to share....thank you for your comments. XO

    Linda, dear creative Linda, thank you for your perceptive words, I do feel I am sharing who I am as you wrote. May you also have the support you need. <3

    French Fancy,thanks for the visit. Yes its good to remember the whole life...not just the part that is painful.

    Fhina (Woman of Importance), yes that VW bus does put me in mind of that time...imagine living in Michigan where the All American car is made...and my parents bought a German trangressive! Yes the trip brought with it many memories. <3

    Butternut Squash, Namaste to you and our beginning understand so much so easily...all is well. <3

    Linda S., Thank you for your interest and email address(mine is on the sidebar). My sisters and brother are over your way in Tennessee this week celebrating our niece's wedding.

    Life continues to create its own beauty through all of the loss. I enjoyed your writer's question on the last Psyche Connections post.Thank you for your comments and heartfelt sentiment. <3

    Lori Ann, namaste to you dear nurturing creative friend. Thank you for your comment and bless you for your frienship.xx <3

  16. Sarah L., yes, it is strange to feel the upper generational tier gone. I think of friends who still have their parents and wonder how that influences their life...its a special kind of support that parents provide. Now I'm in that support role and I'm not parented...I have to parent my children and myself. Still, many have an even more serious challenges. I'm glad you appreciate my photo...your work is my standard...that's funny, I know because I just got into the digital photo world.

    But everyone needs a standard to rise to...I wonder what kind of camera you use and if it has a special don't ever have problems with unwanted reflection-even when shooting snow. Thanks for reading and keeping me in your thoughts. <3

  17. hi friend dropped in 2 ay hi..cheers

  18. Hi to you as well, R., hope you have a lovely day!

  19. Dear Cynthia,
    I have been away from blogging for a while so please forgive me for not dropping by sooner.
    It is so interesting to see these photo's of your life and where you were raised. Your Dad was so young when he died, he looks really great in his photo.
    You have had a lot to deal with lately, being involved with this film project, dredging up all the memories and having to deal with them all over again. I hope you will feel at peace again soon.
    Love Dianne x x

  20. This must have been a painful, yet hopefully therapeutic journey back to your homeland. Peace to you and yours, Cynthia.

  21. Dear Cynthia
    so sorry I have been out of the loop
    only to discover these very moving recent posts.
    As Sarah said - how terribly sad to lose both your parents so very young.
    I wonder whether we will get to see the full interview?
    You seem to have had a very exciting early childhood.
    Much love.

  22. Welcome home Cynthia and thank you for including us in what must have been a very painful journey. xv

  23. This comment has been removed by the author.

  24. It was great to see you while you were in Michigan visiting for the documentary. Wish you could have stayed a little longer, but there will be other times. (Plus, hopefully I'll see ya in July!)

    Your blog is always so uplifting and positive.
    It's always a pleasure to read about your experiences and I know I should be comin' round more often.

    Life can sometimes be so distracting and pulls at at us from so many directions. I guess it's what the age of multitasking has done to us.

    We tend to get lost in so many of our far-off little worlds, but I still try to make my rounds whenever I can.

    Take care and love to ya, Wendell and the kids! (Geez what am I thinking, they're not even kids anymore?)

  25. Dianne, I appreciate your visits whenever you can stop by, I know lately you have been visiting in the UK and then you have you art much going on! Your support and friendship is valued. xxx <3

    Elizabeth, you are still traveling! I'm glad you made the time to catch up on my post. I don't know what we will be able to see, I asked for a copy of the interview. Thank you for your visit.

    Willow, thank you for your's funny how family makes the homeland feel real...I feel connected to more people now but less specifically placed.

    Vicki, Glad you could come over and thanks for you sentiment. I will be over to your blog soon and check out your latest magic!

    Passion4, you know that life is so busy and we all do what we can. I also enjoyed catching up with you two for a brief dinner! It was fun. I appreciate your comments and feel free to visit when you can. <3

  26. Cynthia,

    Thank you so much for this post. The family photographs are treasures.

    Your sharing favors my growth in more than one area...


  27. Dear Cynthia -
    I hope your journey, as painful as it was, will give you the answers you're seeking. I loved seeing the photos of your family, and of the family farm. I'm just returning from a bout of flu and wanted to stop by to see how you are. So much catching up to do! Will visit again soon.

  28. This is such a thoughtful and reflective post. I really like the photos too. How nice you were able to back "home" at Springtime when the buds are preparing to bloom. Maybe this is a reflection of your own healing, friend.

    PS We had a VW bus too--a pop top! The first day we got it, I took my spaghetti dinner out and ate in that van. I was 10. Good times :-)


Start a conversation with your comments here...