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Dialogue with a Muse; Writing Work
Vas is playing in the background…I’m already starting to feel bothered…breathe …breathe...
Lately, I’ve been noticing that some profound hurt is again in my background feeling…I’m connecting to others and their sadness too. This is what accompanies me into the shadow space where I encounter the muse…breathe…
Me holding the Mirror: Where are you…? I shift. I turn. I adjust…breathe... breathe… let go...
Muse: What is your request?
Me holding the Mirror: For now, I want to know how I can make progress on my writing work…I feel delayed... What is wrong with me?
Muse: Too many thoughts clutter…your hurt is too strong ….it’s even overwhelming me…I will tell you that your writing is connected to your mother. ..You have to let her go without letting the writing go…
Me holding the Mirror: What? How am I holding?
Muse: There was too much past bitterness…plus, by holding on to pain, you won’t get her back; you won’t be able to find her by holding on. The hurt you feel is opposite to this guilt and procrastination…it keeps you trapped. It won’t bring your mother any closer or further away. It’s just clutching up your creation space…open… open …everything is god…in …out …thought and work…everything.
Me holding the Mirror: Are you a man?
Muse: That is not important …think of me as you like…Eastwood? Okay…I am your father's pen. l listen to the mess inside; the hurt…you’re going on a plane…you think you will find your mother. She is not more there than here…You are afraid…again hurt …hurt so many things …
Me holding the Mirror: Help me to find the will to work…
Eastwood Muse: Just start...and then start again...and again…what else can be done? If you want to go somewhere you have to find the way there…once there…it is easy…as with all things…your spirit…it moves…some details have to be addressed…the writing is one…you have writing Karma… that plagiarism issue, don’t judge others. As I said you have issues…just forgive those who cheat…let it go…Just forgive because sometimes people are desperate….it can make them dishonorable. Be at peace with this issue. Accept that people are flawed but spirit is clear.
Yes, some have cheated and taken from you and such….through this life and others…just let it go… You are giving too much importance to it; judgment holds you, but not lightly.
Go forward to a joy space. Write from there. Write from your heart…like a wave that pushes up. Let a force like…gravity-in-reverse push up the wave of athou -your creativity-…there is much for you to do besides this writing …it all comes up with the wave…just go with it. Do as many things as you can…it will refresh you-not hold you back. You are using the hurt to hold yourself back …let it be there…hurt is part of your writing but too much…it starts and stops you from writing. It controls you. Just be at peace with your own process…breathe… let god come here… let god be with you …those hot emotions they have a space but are not more important than everything else…remember that…there is so much more …you don’t know what your work is yet…keep moving and accepting …all of that anxiety is just resistance in the field of change ...just breathe…
How delightful you are in your yoga group…I talk to you when you need to think of words…I wish you would learn some more French…I have some French things to say...do you know joyeux...joy? …I am part of that too…you block my joy…live in love and joy…
Make things clean, orderly and pretty; l/you will like that …deal with the hot ocean of pain…take a shower and keep working… it will be all right …get through this pain …you don’t have to do anything; it’s just there. Clear it by breathing … breathe …breathe…remember; that is all…remember…you are alive; you are love; all is well. Au revoir.
Me Holding the Mirror: Thank you …I will not just hope…I will accept and move …even with the pain…. merci beaucoup.
Vas is playing in the background…I’m already starting to feel bothered…breathe …breathe...
Lately, I’ve been noticing that some profound hurt is again in my background feeling…I’m connecting to others and their sadness too. This is what accompanies me into the shadow space where I encounter the muse…breathe…
Me holding the Mirror: Where are you…? I shift. I turn. I adjust…breathe... breathe… let go...
Muse: What is your request?
Me holding the Mirror: For now, I want to know how I can make progress on my writing work…I feel delayed... What is wrong with me?
Muse: Too many thoughts clutter…your hurt is too strong ….it’s even overwhelming me…I will tell you that your writing is connected to your mother. ..You have to let her go without letting the writing go…
Me holding the Mirror: What? How am I holding?
Muse: There was too much past bitterness…plus, by holding on to pain, you won’t get her back; you won’t be able to find her by holding on. The hurt you feel is opposite to this guilt and procrastination…it keeps you trapped. It won’t bring your mother any closer or further away. It’s just clutching up your creation space…open… open …everything is god…in …out …thought and work…everything.
Me holding the Mirror: Are you a man?
Muse: That is not important …think of me as you like…Eastwood? Okay…I am your father's pen. l listen to the mess inside; the hurt…you’re going on a plane…you think you will find your mother. She is not more there than here…You are afraid…again hurt …hurt so many things …
Me holding the Mirror: Help me to find the will to work…
Eastwood Muse: Just start...and then start again...and again…what else can be done? If you want to go somewhere you have to find the way there…once there…it is easy…as with all things…your spirit…it moves…some details have to be addressed…the writing is one…you have writing Karma… that plagiarism issue, don’t judge others. As I said you have issues…just forgive those who cheat…let it go…Just forgive because sometimes people are desperate….it can make them dishonorable. Be at peace with this issue. Accept that people are flawed but spirit is clear.
Yes, some have cheated and taken from you and such….through this life and others…just let it go… You are giving too much importance to it; judgment holds you, but not lightly.
Go forward to a joy space. Write from there. Write from your heart…like a wave that pushes up. Let a force like…gravity-in-reverse push up the wave of athou -your creativity-…there is much for you to do besides this writing …it all comes up with the wave…just go with it. Do as many things as you can…it will refresh you-not hold you back. You are using the hurt to hold yourself back …let it be there…hurt is part of your writing but too much…it starts and stops you from writing. It controls you. Just be at peace with your own process…breathe… let god come here… let god be with you …those hot emotions they have a space but are not more important than everything else…remember that…there is so much more …you don’t know what your work is yet…keep moving and accepting …all of that anxiety is just resistance in the field of change ...just breathe…
How delightful you are in your yoga group…I talk to you when you need to think of words…I wish you would learn some more French…I have some French things to say...do you know joyeux...joy? …I am part of that too…you block my joy…live in love and joy…
Make things clean, orderly and pretty; l/you will like that …deal with the hot ocean of pain…take a shower and keep working… it will be all right …get through this pain …you don’t have to do anything; it’s just there. Clear it by breathing … breathe …breathe…remember; that is all…remember…you are alive; you are love; all is well. Au revoir.
Me Holding the Mirror: Thank you …I will not just hope…I will accept and move …even with the pain…. merci beaucoup.
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Friends, I am a bit surprise about the words my "Eastwood Muse" said...feel free to comment...I used a Dr. Progroff journaling technique here from the book At A Journal Workshop... which was suggested by Kim of Creating Space. I thought I would just play a bit ... maybe I was demander son chemin (asking for directions). I had no idea I would feel so much raw pain...where did that come from?
Here is some more creative puzzlement...the Vas music and this complex Indian music video story...
Friends, I am a bit surprise about the words my "Eastwood Muse" said...feel free to comment...I used a Dr. Progroff journaling technique here from the book At A Journal Workshop... which was suggested by Kim of Creating Space. I thought I would just play a bit ... maybe I was demander son chemin (asking for directions). I had no idea I would feel so much raw pain...where did that come from?
Here is some more creative puzzlement...the Vas music and this complex Indian music video story...
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Painting: The Mirror, Sir Frank Francis Bernard Dicksee
