You are a Wonder

I have so much to be grateful for, Blogger friends. When I listen to Natalie Merchant's song, "Wonder", it reminds me to celebrate my life. I hope it does the same for you. Recently, I underwent a scare because of a suspicious lump found on a routine mammogram. How many of you have gone through this anxiety of retests, waiting for results and interpretation? My heart goes out to you. Yesterday, I received the news that it's probably normal, and I have no cause to worry. But during the week of waiting I started to remember my life so far and suddenly I remembered...

In 1992, when I was seven months pregnant with my daughter, Amber (she is singing with her boyfriend, Rafa, in the photo), when the doctor said:

"I'm afraid you have a blood disorder, idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura. No, there is no cure. You will have to take steroid treatment for the rest of your life- otherwise, if you get cut, you could bleed to death. I'm sorry but there is some more bad news. Your baby could be in danger, and we will have to monitor the case carefully. She is underweight and could be born with the blood condition, too."

When I got the news, I was in shock, I understood it was life threatening. The shock was enough to change my life. I have a confession. I was over-ambitious. I was working full-time at a correctional facility (medium level prison) and was a full-time graduate student striving for another certification- this one in applied linguistics and language teaching. I was also working on an Adult teaching credential and some of the linguistic credits would transfer to the credential. I had to finish before the baby was born!

I'm afraid that I was set for the lesson of my life. I realized that nothing mattered more than taking care of myself and my baby physically, mentally and spiritually. Yes, I knew it before but I forgot. I think we all forget to do what we must. And don't you forget about the fact that you are alive? I did and I don't think my circumstance is so rare. We take life for granted. We forget that it's only here, now that we have the opportunity to realize we're alive and to :
Celebrate Life!

Fortunately, I understood the circumstances that created the problem and I changed everything I could. I read that only one in one hundred thousand people have spontaneous remission. Through excellent health care, visualization techniques, exercise, health supporting food and a burst of joy, I overcame the condition. I am the one (1), the exception, the survivor. Even now, I'm cured, my platelet count is in the normal range. I am ever so grateful.

I am a wonder! My daughter rapidly gained weight once I changed my life style and orientation. Whenever, I hear this song, I think of my daughter, the Joy-splasher, who smiled and laughed so early in life. In my heart, she is connected to all children who undergo a physical challenge, and through some miracle, "through love and faith" they overcome these challenges. She has made her way. May all children make their way...and may you, too, celebrate the wonder of yourself and your own life.






Doctors have come from distant cities just to see me

Stand over my bed disbelieving what they're seeing

They say I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation

And as far as they see they can offer no explanation

Newspapers ask intimate questions want confessions

They reach into my head to steal the glory of my story

They say I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation

And as far as they see they can offer no explanation

I believe Fate smiled and Destiny

Laughed as she came to my cradle

Know this child will be able

Laughed as my body she lifted

Know this child will be gifted

With love with patience and with faith

She'll make her way

She'll make her way

She'll make her way

People see me, I'm a challenge to your balance

I'm over your heads, how I confound you and astound you to know

I must be one of the wonders of God's own creation

And as far as you see you can offer me no explanation

I believe Fate smiled and Destiny

Laughed as she came to my cradle

Know this child will be able

Laughed as she came to my mother

Know this child will not suffer

Laughed as my body she lifted

Know this child will be gifted

With love with patience and with faith

She'll make her way

She'll make her way

She'll make her way

~~~~
If it weren't for my daughter, I would have been unable to deal with my mother's murder. Of this I am certain. She has filled my aching heart with the celebration of love and joy. An infant savior that was given to my care. May I be worthy.
~~~~
This song is from the collection, "Retrospective", which came out in 2004. In the accompanying CD booklet, I read that the song has become an anthem of sorts for hospitalized children who are in need of a miracle.

Natalie Merchant wrote: (reprinted in it's entirety)

I was asked to present an award during the annual benefit dinner for an organization funded by the family of Woody Guthrie. He had died of Huntington's disease, and this foundation funds research to find a cure. The year that I attended the event, the scientist who has isolated the gene that causes the disease was being honored. During his acceptance speech he said that, in spite of all the advancements in modern medicine, there was still a mysterious and powerful part of the healing process that no one could understand or quantify. He had seen seemingly hopeless cases that survive for years while much less seriously ill patients died in months. He said that there was no explanation for why love, laughter, or music should have healing power, but they did. Then he quoted some "Wonder," lyrics he had seen taped to the wall over a sick child's bed. Nurses in the pediatric hospital where he worked told him it was a sort of anthem for the patients there. I was stunned by his acknowledgement and touched by what he had said. I felt happy to have made something so useful.
~~~~
Natalie, I hope I am useful, too!

If you feel compelled to celebrate your own life in a concrete way, please click on one of the Compassion Opportunities posted on the sidebar (@ Braja's Lost and Found in India or Julie's Tangobaby) and share a little- "pay it forward" through PayPal. You could also lend a few words of support (in the comment section) to the intuitive artist, Dianne, who has been spending all of her time nurturing her husband through his most recent back surgery. Or go visit Paris of "Remembering Paris" and let her know that she is not alone in this life. You could leave a little love at The Pink Cowboy, where he is undergoing a challenging setback. Or leave a comment for dear loving Lori Ann of Lori Times Five who is sick and is being treated for malaria. Or? You know where your love is most needed. Don't resist being "the Wonder that you are."

I celebrate life! I celebrate you! I celebrate "the wonder of God's own creation."

A tender slow version of the song "Wonder" by the braid-wearing, wondrous, Natalie: