One day, she disappeared and we never heard from her for seventeen years. Her own childhood was marred by absence and abandonment. She spent a number of years in a Boston state home because her mother was hospitalized for a mental condition. After Grandma left, I didn't know if she was still alive. I was a child. I didn't know that sometimes adults have arguments that they don't resolve. Her absence was like an empty windy space. I seemed to looked for her, though not consciously, as I walked in the fields. She was in my thoughts as I collected seed pods and branches. I'd bring my finds into my upstairs bedroom and paint them red, orange, and yellow; finishing off with a liberal sprinkle of glitter. What would Grandma Alice think of this?
When Grandma Alice returned, I was living another life in another state. The Grandma of my childhood never returned.
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As I continued to draw whatever came into my field of vision, it became ever clearer that seeing/drawing was indeed a Way, in the Oriental sense of the word. The tea ceremony, Noh dance, aikido, judo (do in Japanese means "Way," while in Chinese the word for Way is Tao) are all such Ways: lifelong disciplines that lead you to where you really live, that liberate you form the programmed prejudices of your time and the pretensions of the little Me, to reveal the truth that is your own Truth.
Seeing/drawing...it is my Way of meditation.
Zen Seeing, Zen Drawing ; Meditation in Action
by Frederick Franck
*Art Validates Life*
I have said before that creativity is a spiritual issue. Any progress is made by leaps of faith, some small and some large. At first, we may want faith to take the first dance class, the first step toward learning a new medium. Later, we may want the faith and the funds for further classes, seminars, a larger work space, a year's sabbatical. Later still, we may conceive an idea for a book, an artist' collective gallery space. As each idea comes to us, we must in good faith clear away our inner barriers to acting on it and then, on an outer level, take the concrete steps necessary to trigger our synchronous good.
What dream are you discounting as impossible given your resources? What payoff are you getting for remaining stuck at this point in your expansion?
The Artist Way by Julia Cameron
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