Saturday, August 29, 2009


Loving ourselves and loving our world... even when we're overwhelmed?

(Amber's hands)

~ Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.~

Marianne Williamson (adapted)

Alternative post title: My life has been in such a state !!!
(Am I "playing small"?)

The gate's closed-tied by vines and blocked by weeds.

So much to overcome in life...
this is a view of the gate from the back; it used to be called the Pig House (I try not to take it personally!). Now it is filled with plants-volunteers- there are always plenty of them! (The weeds do take over!)

It's a jungle.

And my little terraced garden? Overgrown and neglected.

~~~A garden overgrown (and under-tended)~~~~

Sometimes the work just piles up... (and it's not just housework and gardenwork)

When I get too much stress, my mind just goes blank...I'm like the deer caught in the car's headlights...a part of me want's to scream at myself...Get it together...


I need to be alone, breathe, and just re-evaluate.
Don't you wish life came with signposts?

Amber has a project this weekend for her Human Development class. Last night, we were up every two hours because the baby is programed to cry and she needs pretend diaper changes, food, and various other necessities that must be recorded-time/event-IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. I tried to help Amber wake up...we were so tired because our schedules are packed once school begins.

I'm so proud of her...that's what I need to focus on.


If you have ever worked in another country, you know how difficult it is to process paperwork. This week, we recieved news that our work contracts weren't processed, our taxes had an error so no refund, and bill collectors don't like to wait.
Isn't it true that most things seem to pile up?
I don't notice the stress-on purpose-but then I suddenly go brain-numb. I realize I've gone to the OTHER SIDE... I can't think.

"Do something!"...I hear in my concentration goes cloudy...I focus on what's in front of me...I look tired, unhappy---peevish---Wake up!!!


Speaking of cars...

We had a flat tire on the way in to work this week.

Who is that squating down? Oh- that's our oldest child, Alex, still half asleep at 6am. (I hope he's alert by the time school begins.) He's "helping". Do you remember that scene from A Christmas Story? The older boy, Ralphie, was told that he could help his father change a flat tire (in record time) and the bolt's flew everywhere? (That's the scene where Ralphie said "the queen mother of all dirty words. The f--- word!" ) In this case, our sleepy boy-man is little help in a flat tire crisis...sigh... and his father is addressing the Queen Mother.

It's a good thing that Mr. Oasis knows how to change a tire.

We commute two to three hours each morning...
While the tension of being late built up, I walked over to a nearby flamboyan tree.
Focus on beauty...that's my calm down strategy.
Ah, isn't that Maria Von Trapp's wisdom from The Sound of Music?


May we all have a productive week ahead, dear bloggers friends, and not too much stress!


  1. We are all meant to shine! - enough said :)

  2. You're in good spirits, despite all the hours commuting. It must be your unassailable, sparkling personality. Have a great week.

  3. That's an incredibly long commute you undertake.

    I think these periods of stress and calm seem to fluctuate. If we were always so calm, life would be boring--sort of like wearing the same clothes everyday. Like every other storm, this one will pass, too.

  4. Focu on beauty. That may become my new mantra.

  5. Well this post had so much matter for me.. I am bursting with all that I have to say....
    I love Marianne Williamson's quote. A very uplifting though for a Sunday morning.
    What you say about overwhelmed is so true. Small jobs to be done, when they add up bit by bit, sometimes feel like a mountain you can never cross. I agree the key is to be calm, focus on beauty and all things serene and joyous.

  6. 2 to 3 miles one way? i'll never complain again!

  7. Oh no wonder you feel a little overwhelmed.... we might have started a trend as I've just written a similar post about life events wearing me out.
    So I wish you strength and peace to deal with all that life throws at you.

  8. dear cynthia, you are very strong to endure all this from my vantage point. If I had to commute such long hours and do life as well AND be happy doing it, I would, indeed, be overwhelmed by it all. Your quote by Williamson at the top is one of my favorites and often I look to it to remind myself of my own current path and ways to make it's crooked ways make more sense...

    may you be blessed with abundant wisdom and the freedom to find the time you need to simply sit, ponder and relax when you need to, and as always, to continue seeing the beauty that surrounds you.

  9. Dear Cynthia, Blogger wouldn't let me post a comment! i hope this will go through.
    I love that you commute together as a family and I LOVE the mantra of seeing the beauty in everything. We always have that choice don't we? I hope you find the time to get everything done just the way you want. Happy back to school!

    oh, i remember those days of life skills classes and the homework babies. Your daughter sure is a cutie.

    xoxoxox lori

  10. Oh, bless you! It's so miserable when you feel overwhelmed. I know because I am always feeling that way. I do not envy your drive to work daily....yuk! I hope you have a week with many unexpected moments of calmness.....obviously after that fake baby returns where she came from!!!!

  11. Funny you mention the wisdom of Maria Von Trapp, because when I'm really stressed, I pop in my Sound of Music album and Maria chases all my fears away.

  12. You're preaching to the choir...I took 2 weeks off due to brain being thought deprived...a new post this morning because suddenly I'm awake and now I find this explanation for my inertia...thanks!

  13. Cynthia, I understand perfectly how you are feeling; well maybe not the hectic work schedule and the commute (that sounds like my old London life) but the expat paperwork that makes one' heart sinks when it arrives.

    What a shame about the forms being a bit wrong - if Puerto Rico is anything like France for bureaucracy then you really have my sympathies. As for jungle type gardens - I somehow don't notice the weeds but Mr FF does and comments on them (he earns the money and I do stuff like garden and house), but it is not so easy keeping up to date.

    I think an escape into musicals is the perfect antidote to all this. I sometimes play either Oklahoma or South Pacific and the sad songs still can make me all emotional

  14. The Sound of Music wouldn't cheer me up. I'm with Christopher Plummer, who said that being in 'The Sound of Music' was like being beaten with a Hallmark Card. (Or something to that effect.) I hope that gave you a laugh!

  15. Cynthia it sounds like you have post-vacation blues. Then again, you could just be human. I can understand the chaos an overgrown garden or a house gone slightly awry can cause. But I have also learned to accept that I cannot handle everything that is thrown at me either. Things will get done when they get done. Balance. One of the most key ingredients that was missing from my life. Some people enjoy music or take bubble baths. Others take long walks or write in order to find some balance in their lives. I have discovered my bike. When I have moments such as what you describe, I hit the road and ride along the scenic roads thru our abundant farm country. Wide open spaces, cool breeze in my face and endless scenery all around me helps me to put a little perspective back into my life. When I see the farmers on their tractors into the early evening, I think, "It's not so bad". I don't envy your commute to work every day. That would definitely put me over the edge. If I told you it only takes me 10 minutes to get to my office you would probably throw something at me. I hope everything works out for the best.

  16. Hi Cynthia X:-) i know the feeling! Been there done that! i solved it by ~slowing down~ even as the worlde rushes by, i slow down and that's when you see the sign posts they're ~everywhere~ i found out (and that's probably what the car was trying to say tOO! lol!) ...oh and the weeds, well i always say what is one man's weed is another man's flower and i think your garden looks like an adventure my children would love! X:-) (Ps) Thanks for dropping by my blog x

  17. Just came back from my holidays in Spain and it's nice to see that the good quality in writing is the same if not better.

    Greetings from London.

  18. What an amazing quote. Really inspiring--just like your blog ALWAYS is! I love all the pictures that you take to keep a live journal of your life and its happenings. Your daughter is so pretty! She is going to be an exotic knockout when she is an adult! Seems like calamity does come your way, but what I love about you is that you always seem to take it with a grain of salt and keep living life happy and bright. You seem to have such a positive and loving family. You guys are always up to some adventure. I wish I was as busy as you always are. My life (and I'm in my 20's!) is sooooo dull compared to yours. I always love reading your posts. They make me feel really hopeful and positive that life is good and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. Keep at it Cynthia. Really lovely as always. xoxoxoxox--One of 365

  19. Girl, let me tell you! I can relate totally to the deer in headlights syndrome. I find that I need a lot of quiet, even for just twenty minutes to process the stress and calm myself.

    I enjoyed your post thoroughly because you walked me through the trials you had this week, and showed by example, how to overcome, with good spirits, treading lightly.

    You have a long commute every morning. I don't feel so bad about my one hour on the van with a group of women (and all our issues) LOL!

    Have a bright day, and weekend.

    Mingi mingi (loads) love.

    Mama Shujaa

  20. Thank you all for the kind (and entertaining words). I've been intensely busy this week but suddenly a tropical storm is coming, Everyone is watching and waiting to see how much of an impact it will have on our lives.

    Your comments go directly to my email and I have found them to be happily diverting! I love to know that you are all out there in the world, living everyday, and you took the time to say a few words to me. I send you all love and appreciation. <3

  21. Oh my goodness.

    YOu have been through SO much.

    Tonight you must find a plaza with music and dance. Dance abolishes stress, at least for awhile.

  22. Oh Lord, have I ever been there. I look back in horror and wonderment how we ever survived the early days (in truth, we didn't really, just ploughed on amidst the wreckage). But you know what? It's days like these that makes the other better days all the sweeter. How can you recognise the good if you have never experienced your back up against that wall?

    One truism is nothing lasts forever, pressures ease and the sun does shine again - you'll see! (Hugs)


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