Animal Farm Revisited

Many Changes Both Great and Small

Dear Readers, Since this post appeared we have undergone many changes. Our dear Michelle (in the photograph) has died of a liver ailment. We moved to the animated and transformative beach. Benicio del Toro, the perky black dog and Miss Junie are living with us in our beach side apartment. We found a small farm for a few of our adopted dogs, several were placed and the less fortunate were taken to a shelter. It was a painful time. I send you all a most lovely wish for both joy and compassion in your lives. Sincerely, Ms. Oasis (Cynthia)

Oasis Animals: Michelle's Eyes



Michelle, ma belle, sont des mots qui vont tres bien ensemble-

tres bien ensemble...

(The Beatles/Paul McCartney)



What is so compelling about our animal friends? I love Ma Belle, Michelle's, face. I love to press my forehead against hers and send her all my love. Contact with Michelle gives me such a feeling of profound well being. I know this is not unusual. Many people have a special connection with an animal friend.

I also feel great warmth (and sometimes anger) toward Miss Junie. She claims all flat surfaces with a sense of authority that defies all boundaries.

Lately, we have been having a territory battle over the large table that I use as a desk. She determinedly knocks over my pile of research books and brushes her paw across the carefully stacked and ordered mail while she makes herself quite comfortable as owner of the table. But what can I do? She's the queen of the house, and is likely to punish anyone who attempts to constrain her. (These punishments are unspeakably naughty! If you have a territorial cat, you completely understand. If not, it's best not to go into it.

Recently, she has allowed me to pick her up and hold her in a close hug. Her tolerance of my affection has made me so much more permissive about her eccentricities.

This lovely yogi cat (Lionheart, Temple Cat) is from the Seven Centers Yoga Arts in Sedona, Arizona (photo credit and to read the latest newsletter click here.)

~~~~

A love song to our animal friends...



Only You by Ringo Starr's quirky video expresses this sentiment! (Click to watch the video!)

Only you, can make this world seem bright.

Only you, can make the darkness bright.

Only you and you alone can thrill me like you do

and fill my heart with love for only you

Only you can make this change in me.

For it's true, you are my destiny.

When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do.

You're my dream come true.

My one my one and only you.



~~~~~~~~

Introducing Benicio del Toro (AKA Beni' and 'Nicio)!

He is the classic dog. Completely loyal. Completely protective. He is our oldest stray. One day, his mother, Ms. Nellie, arrived at our gate and just waited. She waited until the night. She waited until the next morning. She found her way into the fenced in back area and settled in. We fed her and then it was all over. Little Ms. Nellie was pregnant. The following day, she had our little bull- headed, Beni!



~~~~~~~

A few words of love by the renowned (and occasionally sardonic) poet, Billy Collins:



Dharma

The way the dog trots out the front door

every morning

without a hat or an umbrella,

without any money

or the keys to her dog house

never fails to fill the saucer of my heart

with milky admiration.



Who provides a finer example

of a life without encumbrance—

Thoreau in his curtainless hut

with a single plate, a single spoon?

Ghandi with his staff and his holy diapers?



Off she goes into the material world

with nothing but her brown coat

and her modest blue collar,

following only her wet nose,

the twin portals of her steady breathing,

followed only by the plume of her tail.



If only she did not shove the cat aside

every morning

and eat all his food

what a model of self-containment she would be,

what a paragon of earthly detachment.

If only she were not so eager

for a rub behind the ears,

so acrobatic in her welcomes,

if only I were not her god.



"Dharma" by Billy Collins, from Sailing Alone Around the Room. Random House, 2002.



~~~~~~~

And if that is not enough, here is a story that you can read to your little ones:



I’m a Big BoyIt was time for bed, but Joey was afraid of the dark.

“Go to bed Joey”, his mom said.

The room was dark. A big shadow moved on the wall.

“Mom” Joey yelled, “Mom!”

“What is it son?”

“There’s a big shadow on the wall!”

“A shadow,?” His mom asked “It’s from the big tree outside your window!”

Joey wanted to be brave but when his mom left, the shadow grew!

Joey could not fall asleep and only by holding his stuffed animal, Buster Brown, could he quiet his fear.

The next morning Joey went to the park with his mom. He had dark shadows underneath his eyes. He was cranky.

He met his friend Suzy.” Hey Joey, do you want to play ball?” Joey didn’t answer.

You look sad. She asked him, “What’s wrong, Joey?”

Joey said, “I’m sad”.

“Why are you sad?” asked Suzy.

“It’s a secret. I’ll tell you if you promise not to tell.”

Joey told Suzy everything, even the part about the shadow and how his stuffed animal, Buster Brown helped him fall asleep.

“I think I know how to help you, but it’s a surprise. I’ll come over this afternoon.”

Later, Suzy talked to her mother and then, they came over to Joey’s house with a gift.

When Joey and his mom opened the door, they saw that it was a soft fluffy puppy!

“Oh mom, can I keep him? And can he sleep in my room?” Joey asked.

She smiled, “Yes dear, but only if you are a big boy.”

Joy said to his new brown puppy, “I am a big boy, Buster Brown!”And everyone laughed.

Joey knew he was a big boy because he took care of a real puppy and big boys are not afraid of the dark!

Here's wishing you all the puppy love you want!

Re-Post: Dear Mom

Recently, author Marianne K. Martin wrote an article,Double Edged Blessing, which touched me deeply. In it, she mentioned the letter that I wrote to my mother on her birthday. It's going to be her birthday again (October 31). I'm re-posting this letter in honor of  her birthday.  


Thanks, Marianne, for helping to spread our message about the humanity of all people and working to end hate crimes against the LGBT community. (Please follow the hyperlinks to follow up on Martin's books and visit the Pittmann Puckett Documentary web.)

Oasis Reflection: It's October again.


Halloween is Susan Pittmann, my mother's, birthday. When I see pumpkins, black cats and witches, I think of her. Why would that be a concern, you may wonder. You see, she was murdered in a hate crime 18 years ago by our neighbor, Jim Brooks. (I wrote about the murder.) Since that time a lot has happened around her story. Isn't it strange how a life can continue in some way even after it passes? Every October brings with it a time to reflect, whether I want to or not, about that tragic event. I thought I would just go ahead and write about it here, on my 100th blog post.

Dear Mom,
I turn to you on this day because I am compelled to embrace your life. You are the door that has led me on so many life journeys. I want to thank you for your strength and open mindedness. Do you remember that you once told me that I could have benefited from a mom who was more sensitive? I want you to know that you were enough, and that I did not need any other mother.
You were a strong straightforward person- a woman bound to accomplish, an entrepreneur, and a visionary. We had our differences. You liked having a practical vegetable garden and I loved growing flowers. You liked painted properties and I liked painted canvas. You were tough and I was sensitive. You were a 'people person' and I was somewhat reserved. Let me be clear about your insight, Mom, you were wrong because you were exactly what I wanted and needed. You taught me to toughen up, and I'm still learning that lesson from you.

Do you see that book cover I posted here, Love in the Balance? It arrived in the mail last week. It has a character, Evonne, who is loosely based on you. And the scene of the murder trial, news reports, the sentencing of Mr. Brooks are all factually correct. Some of it sounds like it came right out of the TV news reports, "Our top story tonight is the double murder this morning of two local women at their home in a quiet rural neighborhood...It is unclear whether the murders were the result of a boundary dispute. The women were in the process of installing a fence separating their property from that of the suspected killer." There is one mention about a daughter, Jenny, who spoke to the reporters and at the funeral. Her words make people understand that her mother was a loving mother, grandmother, and friend-and that living a lesbian lifestyle does not mean that you are someone who is separated from the normal embrace of family life. That message is what I try to share as well. I think you would like the book. It's about self-acceptance and celebrating life.


I found out about the book because the author, Marianne Martin, was interviewed by the film maker, Brian Alexander for the Pittmann Puckett Documentary- yes, there is a film being made about you and your partner's murder, and how it mobilized the gay-lesbian community into action. Did you know that the Michigan organization you founded (with others), Affirmations, is still going strong? It serves as a community and support center for people who are discovering and/or celebrating their sexual identity. There is an art gallery named after you, too, and I copied the dedication for you:


The Pittmann-Puckett Art Gallery was founded in memory of two of Affirmations founding members and strongest supporters, Susan Pittmann and Christine Puckett. The couple was killed in their home by a neighbor in 1992.


I went to Michigan last March to be interviewed for the film. It was a powerful experience, and I felt as though I could say all that was important to me about you and your murder. I hope the film is seen by many people, and that it continues to expand and open the perception of those who are narrow-minded. While I was there, I was able to visit the Pittmann-Puckett Art Gallery. I was proud to know that your presence continues to be felt within that organization. I particularly appreciate that an art gallery was named after you (and Christine). Do you remember that the first college class I ever took was with you? And it was art history?
I am strengthened by the memory of how you lived your life. Your graduation from Wayne State University at 50 years young-as you would say-continues to inspire me to strive forward regardless of artificial age limits. Thank you for showing me how to change and become strong enough to obtain my goals in life.
Just before you were killed, you told me that you were proud of me and how I lived my life. Mom, I hope I always make you proud of me. I hope my life reflects the best of your legacy. I will always love you.


Your daughter,


Cynthia "Sue"-included for you, Mom xxoo


PS. You will be happy to know that the Hate Crimes Bill was signed into law just three hours ago.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To order Marianne K. Martin's books:
Love in the Balance
Indelible Heart

Please click on the hyperlink on the sidebar (rainbow Michigan) to visit Brian Alexander's web page: The Pittmann/Puckett Documentary.

Autumn's Leaving

Oasis Feature: Goodbye's Returning

I'm back from Michigan, and am still processing the astonishingly vivid autumn week. I decided to take an intentional walk down Memory Lane, and found a richly intense source of personal history. I highly recommend the experience of living in your own memoir by re-visiting the people and places that impressed themselves into your memory at an earlier time in your life.

On Memory Lane, I visited Apple Charles' orchard, and discovered a former high school friend is Apple Charlie. I walked through a pumpkin patch, and remembered the great pumpkin, and our farm fund raising activity where all proceeds went towards the purchase of a new motorcycle for the Pittmann girls.  I strolled the Parkview cemetery grounds while Brian Alexander filmed for the B roll that will be shown during the credits for the documentary. (This film is being made about my mother and her partner and the events surrounding their murder.) I met up with Lillian L., one of  Mom's motorcycle buddies, who still rides at 80 years old, and had a delightful lunch filled with her entertaining chatter. I went to the scene of the crime, rather, our farm house, and met the new owners who generously showed me all the changes they had made to the interior of the house.  I returned to our first house on West Point street in Taylor where I lived with my family until I was three years old. Located behind the house, I discovered Mom's Siesta Motel has been converted to a business office building where people siesta no longer. I walked around the corner to Mack's Shack, which is now Kelly's Bar, and remembered the first time I passed for eighteen, and reflected how once when I was sixteen years old I sat at the bar and had a beer with my father. I felt so grown up.

Courageously returning to these specific locations of my personal history reminded me to embrace the past, which includes as they say both the bitter and sweet. Join me as I share memory moments in the next couple of posts in the Oasis Feature; Goodbye's Returning.

The Thing Is

by Ellen Bass

to love life, to love it even
when you have no stomach for it
and everything you've held dear
crumbles like burnt paper in your hands,
your throat filled with the silt of it.
When grief sits with you, its tropical heat
thickening the air, heavy as water
more fit for gills than lungs;
when grief weights you like your own flesh
only more of it, an obesity of grief,
you think, How can a body withstand this?
Then you hold life like a face
between your palms, a plain face,
no charming smile, no violet eyes,
and you say, yes, I will take you
I will love you, again.
"The Thing Is" by Ellen Bass, from Mules of Love. © BOA Editions, Ltd., 2002.

Dangerous Roads

The other day I got in a slight car accident. I was a passenger and the impacting car hit on the passenger side where I was sitting. I write "slight" because no one was hurt and there was minimum damage. Still, I was shaken on some level that was not readily apparent. My muscles have been sore for days, especially in my neck...I remembered the serious accident I had in the desert many years back and the neck problems...but recently, the real memory surfaced...the memory of my seventeen year old niece, Allie, and how she was killed in a car accident on highway 8 heading west toward San Diego. She was also a passenger and the teenage driver of the little car she was in lost control. Allie, extroverted and affectionate, was gone forever.

I think of my sister, Allie's stepmother, Linda, who took care of her the majority of Allie's life...and Sy who lost his only child...with compassion. Linda called me the night it happened, "Allie's dead" she said. I felt numb-shock when I first heard the words. I tried to be present for Linda as I asked for the details that she wanted to share. I believe this loss of a loved child is the most difficult experience anyone can go through.



Allie loved the water and would frequently swim with my son, Alex. She was up close and center-stage during my children's birthday parties. She helped my two year old daughter, Amber, open presents when the wrapping paper was as much fun as the gift inside. Allie was seven years old when we left California and whenever I spoke with her on the phone, it was as if no time had passed between us. She was immediate in her affection and shared a powerful heart-feeling with all those who knew her. Lately, my own children need to grow up and start driving but I think the pain in my neck stems from this heart-pain about Allie. I need and ask for the courage to allow my own children to start driving.


May the universe send love to Allie wherever she is so that in her ever-after she knows that we love her dearly. May the universal force support her father, Sy, for the rest of his life. And may my sister, Linda, be given all the blessings she deserves for her own great-heart and ability to love others as her own family.


Please click on the sidebar, OWL Playlist, and play the Caribbean Blue Video as a tribute to
Allison (Allie) Mcgloughlin.

Namaste


This is a link to an article about the accident.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/news/metro/20040615-9999-1m15crash.html