Ouch! What a difference a place makes...

What did I need? A sign?

I fell into a hole yesterday. I'm exaggerating, really, it was just a broken place in the sidewalk but I had a flash of insight, which is why I' m writing about it here. The fall was accompanied by one of those deja vu (familiar and unpleasant) experiences where an event seems to be repeated but the second time it happens, you realize that your reaction is completely different. The first time I fell into a hole occurred after moving into a new house in Puerto Rico when I was ready to return to my morning jogging/walking routine. Early one day, I was following my bliss and turned down a quiet tropical side street.

I noticed a large Victorian house to my right that was set in the middle of a lush green yard filled with slightly overgrown but cultivated plants. (It looked like this photo of a sub-tropical Victorian home in Springfield, Georgia.) My mind, still thinking about the possible residents of this romantic looking early 20th century home, was jarred by the view of a new condominium building project. Reflecting about the possible demolition of the entire area, I was suddenly almost knee deep in a small hole. While the sensation of a burning pain started to shock my system, I realized that the accident happened because someone did not replace a cover. The metal oval cutout, which looked like a miniature manhole cover, was suppose to fit in the sidewalk. It was part of the local water meter system. As I painfully replaced the metal piece over the gaping hole, I became increasingly angry. While limping home, I indignantly, thought of the irresponsible person who left the cover off. "How dare they just leave a trap for someone to fall in! In the states, the water company would be sued or someone would be held accountable for this irresponsible slovenly work." Of course later, I realized that sometimes people who are not employed by the government, take off the water covers to tamper with the meter readings. I also discovered that heavy rain damages the cement and frequently the covers do not fit properly. Consequently, a foot trap could be made even though the water gage seems to be safe and covered.

Another confession, sometimes, when I was younger, I was told that I had my head in the clouds and this was supported by incidental facts. Once while driving on the scenic panoramic route on California's coastal highway 1, I was so captivated and excited by the view that I nearly drove off the cliff! Talk about entering the moment! Yesterday, I fell into a little hole, a broken place in the sidewalk, really, and I did not get injured.

Thinking now, I remember that I had sprained my ankle exactly twice in my life, and I had to be rushed to the emergency room. The first incident happened because I was riding on the butterfly handlebars of a new pink Schwinn bike that my younger brother was steering. (I was twelve.) I was thrilled with the fun loving ride until my foot got caught in the spokes of the front wheel. The second time, was when I was sitting on the wheel cover of the tractor my father was driving and, again, my foot got caught in the wheel. It was a much bigger wheel this time and considerably more frightening! (I was still twelve.) In both incidents, I remember the face of the driver, my brother and my dad, looking pained and guilty. I confess, I felt seriously sorry for myself both times.

Yesterday's incident repeatedly returns to my mind because of my difference in thought. Immediately after falling, I thought, "Watch more carefully, next time. You have to notice where you are placing your foot." (Of course, I didn't feel pain for long this time either.) What am I saying here? First, another story...

When I moved to Puerto Rico, my department director patiently listened to my complaints about the rule breaking Puerto Rican population. I am a bit ashamed to admit to it now but it bothered me that people would park their cars everywhere and sometimes even block my car from leaving because of double parking. People would park on the sidewalks and if there was space enough, they would park in the middle lane between parking spaces; worse yet, after the first transgressor, cars would line up there, too, creating a middle lane behind the legally parked vehicles. My director patiently listened to my frustration and explanation about being late to class because I was trapped and say, "Yes, this is a small island." I was supposed to infer that people didn't have a choice but to break the rules. Since then, I've learned that these rule are flexible and subject to interpretation by the drivers. Basically, if you're willing to get a possible but rarely given ticket, it's acceptable to break the law because there is no where to legally park. After all, whose fault is it?

Yesterday, I fell in a hole and I realized my orientation had changed. I no longer took it for granted that people would do their duty and repair what is broken. I accepted that I needed to look out for myself in this life. I know I can't prevent every incident from occurring but I noticed that I have accepted responsibility for my own well being. Before I fell yesterday, I didn't even know that I expected others to look out for me or that I would nurse resentment about other people's shortcomings. I realized that thinking and focusing on someone's behavior (rather than my own) resulted in my victimization. It is only because of being so completely immersed in another culture that I can see my own cultural beliefs about how life is suppose to function. This statement about belief is not to say that everyone in my home culture would think exactly the way I do (or did that is.) Also, I am not saying that the Puerto Rican culture is a behavioral model to emulate. I am just saying that when you are pressured to think about what you take for granted, some valuable insight can be gained.

Now dear Blogger friends, here is Cher before all of her cosmetic improvements (-sorry Cher but it's okay to show your age a little bit) singing the romantic classic, What a Difference a Day Makes, which is the song I kept hearing while drafting this reflection. What does that lyric have to do with what I'm thinking about? Maybe my mind made the simple adjustment I'm recommending to you, just change the word "day" to "place" and I think we almost have a thematic fit. ;-)

Life Road; Destination Unknown?

When you first look at the photograph below, you probably see the dry tan colored road. As your eyes travel into the shot, you see a line of color in the sky, then a hint of color above...a double rainbow! For most people, the dry road holds our attention, maybe we remember the taste of dust in our mouths and the gritty feel of sand on our skin. If we'd look to the road-side, we'd see a variety of green plants-or up ahead, we'd see there's light and it's getting brighter. Not only is there light but also color up ahead! The impact of the scene is related to where we place our attention. In the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga, Drs. Deepak Chopra and David Simon write that whatever you want to increase in your life, you should place your attention there. Keep returning your attention to what you want to increase in your life. Like this road, you could look down, to the side, or up ahead. Whatever you focus on will impact you the most-it will seem to be the most significant. I try to remember that when I am in the midst of some sort of crisis-like feeling; I will myself to see a broader perspective and through that effort I find relief. Sometimes it may seem as if I am out of touch with the situation but I am cultivating the ability to shift my focus when it gets over-attentive to what's wrong-after all, usually something is going well in all circumstances. And the Buddhists have an often remembered phrase-at least in my memory,"Good luck, bad luck, who knows?" It's kind of leveling phrase that reminds me that your perspective shifts depending on where (in time) you're focusing. So when a loved one tells me in sympathy, "Your having a lot of bad luck, lately," rather than feeling sorry for myself, I think of transition/change, and how I don't know if what has happened is indeed bad in the whole scheme of things. Today, I was reading an interview with the Dalai Lama by Spalding Gray (in A Simple Monk; Writings on his Holiness The Dali Lama, New World Library 2001). Spalding confessed that he would have an alcoholic drink to calm his nerves when he was traveling to a new place, then he asked the Dalai Lama if he ever felt fear and what was his calming technique. The Dalai Lama admitted that he used to be afraid of flying, and that he would recite a mantra or prayer to relax his anxiety. Ultimately, however, he accepts karma, "If I created some karma to have a certain kind of death, I cannot avoid that. Although I try my best, if something happens, I have to accept it. It is possible that I have no such karmic force, then even if the plane crashes, I may survive...that belief is very helpful. Very effective." I also remember reading Pema Chodron's, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times (Shambhala Classics). She writes that often it's the reaction to bad news that triggers more consequences and consequently, more pain. I remind myself it's best not to run around crazy in fear or anger; it makes things worse. How can I help myself or anyone else if I give in to panic? Many years ago, I was walking with my hatha yoga teacher, Helen Curly Brown, when she dropped her camera down the stairs, "Bless you" she said as she reached down to retrieve it and continue walking. In her quirky way, I noticed how she cultivated patience. Pressure to act in reaction to emotion is strong; I'm grateful that most of the time I do find my center. I come back to my practice and know that all is well. By meditation, I have learned that ultimately, all is well...as a mantra when anxiety visits...I mentally repeat all is well, all is well...all is well until I remember and accept...all is well. May we all have patience and the mental strength to continue to consciously act- but also to know and accept that all is well. May we attend to the double rainbows in our lives and not keep our attention on the dusty road any longer than necessary. Om Namaha Shivaya