Carpe Diem

In the garden, the delphiniums were in flower. Through scented twilight the girl in the white dress walked with a step as light as a cobweb. That evening, she hadn't a care in the world.

Mrs. Delahunty, My House in Umbria

Mrs. Delahunty: I may be dead next month. The moon may have crashed into the earth. Who knows what dreadful things may come to pass? But at the moment, I'm happy. What else matters?

Colonal: Carpe Diem

Mrs. Delahunty: I'm never really sure just what that means.

Colonal: Oh. Seize the day. Embrace the present. Enjoy life while you've got the chance.

Mrs. Delahunty: Carpe Diem. I'll remember that.

My House in Umbria

~~~~~~

Lately, I am aware that I have to do just that, carpe diem, because everything seems to have a feeling of impermanence. Not in a dark somber way but in the way that you feel that some thing's moving, some thing's changing.

I wonder what it is about life that after you hit a certain age, you wake up with memories of people and places that you haven't thought about in a long time. And fragments of youth-inspired dreams come back to your mind with a strong force. When I was a teen, I wanted to travel to Europe, and I did. I think my early obsession with travel was connected to my romance novel addiction. The love story inclination was left in the past, while the enjoyment of other lands and people remained.

I think that's why I love Maggie Smith in My House in Umbria. She's a writer of romance novels who has a calling to help people. She quirkily entertains us by her thriving imagination about the people who stay with her after they all are involved in a train explosion. (I wanted to post a link here but it's difficult to find a positive evaluation- to many spoilers. ) Nevertheless, I love the movie and the character that Maggie Smith plays, Mrs. Emily Delahunty- who has many other delightful nom de plumes.

The movie is set in Italy and if you can watch it and not yearn for travel to Italy, you are a strong person. It has magical views and entertaining cultural moments. If you are having an Italian themed movie night, you might rent Under the Tuscan Sun or go out to see Letters to Juliet. Both of these movies will make you feel as though you have been in Italy -or that it's essential for you to go there now!

I have read the memoir, Under the Tuscan Sun (Frances Mayes), and found it to be richly satisfying-and NOT A ROMANCE. I loaned this book to a close friend who found it tedious with detail about the Italian countryside, garden restorations and house renovations. However, I like these boring details of ordinary life. I like to see how people make decisions and what occupies their time. I'm interested in both real and spruced up life. (A little magic making fantasy is fine with me.) Another popular book that has an enchanting section on an extended vacation in Italy is Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir, Eat, Pray, Love. Did you know that Julie Roberts is going to play Gilbert in the movie? (Scheduled to be released in August.) There is another saturate-yourself-in=Italy movie that I have already mentioned in previous blogs, Enchanted April, which documents a life transforming month in an Italian Medieval castle. Gorgeous scenery! If you want to explore Italy this summer, or imagine yourself there in real life, try Rick Steves' link to travel.

~~~~

As for myself, I plan to stay in Puerto Rico, cook vegetarian lasagna, solve concrete everyday problems and at every moment-carpe diem! If that doesn't excite, think about my lovely gardenia bush that finally bloomed after three years of waiting, hoping, and supplementing with coffee grounds. Finally, it has a fragrant white bloom! Maybe it foretells of positive moments yet to come? ~~~~~~~~

Amelia Earhart's Courage

Courage Needed?


I recently saw the latest film on Amelia Earhart...






her compelling spirit and life are inspirational. I need that kind of strength for the day to day challenges of life.

Have you seen the film? Hillary Swank seems to embody the character and infuse her with life.

I noticed some omitted aspects of Earhart's life and ponder the decision to leave them out. I read that she had a serious sinus condition that had to be operated on three times. (Antibiotics were not yet discovered.) She sometimes had a drainage tube that was tapped on her face. Also, she had a gap between her front teeth. I read that her husband/promoter advised her to not smile in her up close professional photographs. Why do we need our heroes(heroines?) to be so flawless- and in Earhart's case- so healthy? (The movie left out the illness she experienced in her final flight.) It motivates me more when I see that she overcame her own personal challenges.
(image and biography- http://www.ellensplace.net/ae_lflt.html)
I also wonder if the movie romance details were accurate. I could not find any evidence that she was in an open type marriage- as the film portrayed. I frequently read that she and her husband were devoted to each other. (She has another love interest in the film.) I wonder if this contemporary detail was added to make her seem more independent? Regardless of the fudging of facts, after viewing the film, I find that I am inspired to be courageous and face my own fears.

May you have a vibrant and courageous week!

Moi en Mieux: Breathlessly Late for the Willow Manor Ball

Oasis Feature: Moi en Mieux- Me but Better


What a perplexing dilemma! I ignored my invitation to attend Willow Manor's Annual Ball until this morning!

Suddenly, I'm in a fashion frenzy; I'm looking for appropriate party wear and trying on identities. I took inspiration from Clarika's song Moi en Mieux as I attempted to find a new kind of me to attend this most auspicious blogger event. (Thank you Lala Ema of My Castle in Spain for introducing me to this poetic and quirky musician.) Should I go as Marilyn Monroe? No a little too flirty! (What was I thinking?)


Or perhaps I might attempt to imbue-emote- express Grace Kelly's poised elegance?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

What was I thinking???~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh Madame Grace- to reach those heights of style...sigh- alas and alack-not today. I need to be more grounded if I am to arrive on time.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I know just the person who can take on the challenge of an out of sorts and tarty moi- our dear Miss Katherine Hepburn.

Oh yes, that is me elegantly splayed on the manor floor! (I hope Willow doesn't mind!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The effort of selecting identities can be exhausting! And wouldn't Katherine have the nerve to sit on the carpeted floor and just catch her breath! Indeed!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But now I've skipped ahead! I didn't tell you about my date dilemma.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Who could I find on such late notice?(I RSVP-ed at number 70!)
Setting aside my married beau, I'm left with the two handsome standbys, dear Cary Grant and charming Jimmy Stewart.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Who will be my leading man?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now Mr. Grant can be romantically captivating

...but sometimes I just want to capture him! It's my independent streak, I'm sure.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That leaves Mr. Stewart...hum...so affable and lovable...but that incredibly cute pooka, Harvey,
just might want to tag along-and we all know how that turns out!

Of course you know that I arrived on my own! I loved the ball! And next time, I will remember to Répondez s'il vous plaît-er-rather- it will please me to respond much earlier!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here I am still in my alter-ego identity -
considering life and celebrity balls.

I must admit that I do so enjoy sitting here knitting and reflecting -until my next project!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Would you like to listen to Clarika? Here is a YouTube version of the singer and the song.
I'm off to see all of you blog party-goers at your version of the ball! (Click on Willow Manor link to view the lists of participants.)

Home for the Artist

But there is nobody like Mom...if she were here, she'd tell me something about how red is always chasing yellow. I'll never have another new Mom story. I only have the old ones to keep, which is why I have stayed so quiet since she passed, why I 've been keeping to myself, because if I talk, if I say too much about Mom, I'm thinking that the parts I still have will escape, like bubbles. (Nothing But Ghost 217)

Nothing by Ghost by Beth Kephart is a young adult novel that tells the story of the young girl, Katie, who is prematurely launched into independence because of her mother's unexpected death. Both Katie and her father seem to adapt to this tremendous loss by becoming introspective and work-focused. Set during the summer before Katie enters the 12th grade, it becomes a romance, mystery, and psychological exploration on memory and loss. Kephart writes with such tenderness and care as she touches on the subject of friendship, first love and loss.

Listen to the author read a short segment of the book:



I enjoyed this book for so many reasons; it has a magical touching scene in Barcelona, Spain; the loss of the girl's mother is treated with emotional perceptiveness; and the young girl's insight rings true. Beth has written a young adult novel that is warm and honest. Read this book! It is a one day vacation into the life of a young girl who learns how to live after the death of her mother. For anyone who has experienced a similar loss, you know that we all are children again when we lose our parents. (I wrote about the murder of my own mother- here.) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another Mother-Daughter Dynamic

Who do I miss?

I was watching the mother-daughter fashion show scene on the Gilmore Girls series tonight. I feel so touched when I see them walking down the catwalk together. Oh, I know it's suppose to be funny but I can't help but see how music and play can bring people together. It's a reconciliation dance performed in Nancy Regan red suits and perkily accompanied by Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun."



I love the feeling of forgiveness- both giving and getting. Humans are so fallible and inexpert at human relationships.

I feel so much compassion for us.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The father in Nothing but Ghosts spends his time restoring works of art. I was looking for some information about art restoration for those of you who may not know-and then, I remembered this classic quirky movie. Watch the first few minutes of the clip to get an idea of the profession. Keep watching to see the strange kissing scene when Holly Hunter gets fired. Continue on to suffer with the mother when her teenage daughter is compelled to confess that she is going to have sex with her boyfriend, "We're gonna do it. We've talked about it. We'll be safe."

Home for the Holidays is incredible. (Directed by Jodi Foster) It features an intelligent script, an authentic setting, and fair treatment of awkward family dynamics. In the beginning, the song, "Evil Ways" (great performance by Rusted Root) accompanies the viewer while one odd event after another draws us into the confusion of realistic family holiday dynamics.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While we're on the subject of writing and family, I want to tell you about blogger Sarah Laurence who has just finished her young adult novel, "As U Like it"! Isn't that a great title? Shakespeare and IM-speak! I'm thrilled that she shared some early pages with me and my family. (We were checking the authenticity of her Puerto Rican character's Spanish.) Her own daughter acted as a reader for the book. Isn't that just adorable? And useful!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Goodbye dear readers and bloggers!

A final shout out (sorry too much MTV) to my own dear grandmother and mother who have both passed on:

Hey, Mom -cool 50's look- bobby socks with flared out skirt! And Grandma Alice-you're looking good in your 40's style fitted skirt!



Grandma Alice (holding my oldest sister, Linda) and "Mama Sue" (holding my older sister, Pamala -spelled with an "a" !)

Postscript: I messed up on the date of the last post. (I dated it a week in the past! So- you may have missed it. I decided to go ahead and post this now since I have an unexpected "free day"(not a snow day...but a sunny day!) The students are on strike!

Love to you...

Bon appétit! and All Things French

I'm spending the day thinking about all things French.

From my previous post, dear bloggers, you can see that I was a bit overwhelmed this past week. My best strategy for lowering stress is to dive headfirst into a book and start swimming, and Julia Child's My Life in France was just the pool in which to immerse myself. (Julia died in 2004.) I enhanced the background atmosphere by playing the often viewed movie, French Kiss; and, I admit, I was pleasantly distracted. One side issue, I encountered while reading this memoir was an ever insistent pull towards the kitchen...but dear me,






[(photo credit) Vieus port de Marseille- the Old Port of Marseille, France- a place where Julie and Paul Child live and view the amazing tuna-catch just outside of their apartment window]


my kitchen is not Julia's.

Where is the order? Where are the correct pans, measuring cups and ingredients? Oh Juliawould not be happy with me-not at all. I chastise myself- I need to get my kitchen in order, while all the time knowing that I mean that I must get my life in order.

I read about the tuna run in Marseille and think, I hope the fishermen didn't catch any dolphins in their nets. (I have heard of that problem.) Why do I get so fascinated with books that show a part of life I never could relate to? You know I'm vegetarian? When I read about getting the last bit of juice from a carcass, I am both compelled to keep reading and repelled at the same idea.

I'm jumping ahead here...just when I was about to confess another reason Julia would disapprove of my cooking- you see, I share a similarity with one of her co-teachers, Louisette Bertholle (not the excellent Simone Beck). The three women had a little French cooking school, L'Ecole des Trois Gourmandes (The School of the Three Hearty Eaters), where they taught Americans how to make basic French meals. The unfortunate similarity I uncovered is that Louisette and I both cook by instinct (-however, this trait is a serious problem with a cookbook collaborator) -in fact-

I do not measure. (or follow a recipe to the letter!)

I'm one of those cooks who throws everything together in the order that I hope works, tasting along the way, and hoping it all turns out fine. I count on the creative muse to provide me with the substitute ingredients this type of unplanned cooking occasions(-no onions? -just try the garlic.) With this cooking style (or personal flaw!), I insist on no criticism while I am cooking. I believe that if I become angry, the food will express it. (I have proven this to my own subjective satisfaction by burning spaghetti, toast, or tostones while cooking within a climate of anger.) I do not even answer the question, "Mom, what are you cooking for dinner?" because this invites negotiation and I don't want to make false promises. Afterall, I am not sure what will actually turn up on the plate. My muse is the boss. I just follow along. I stand before the pantry and ponder, should I cook pasta or rice? I stare at the bags, canisters, jars and cans- my mind goes blank (or it could be exhaustion!) and then I select what feels right.Now it has happened that I will not pause and just grab what is closest. I start to boil water for pasta when suddenly I know I am cooking rice today and I have to start over.

Yes, Mrs. Child would say "I'm not a serious cook" which is just what she said about Julie Powell as reported in her book and also in the movie Julie and Julia- but I would endure her criticism. It's not so important to be Julia's exceptional student because I just want to be her friend.

I take to heart Julia's wisdom:

One of the secrets, and pleasures, of cooking is to learn to correct something if it goes awry; and one of the lessons is to grin and bear it if it cannot be fixed. (My Life in France 327)

And I also apply this same philosophy to life.

I imagine myself traveling around France with Julia in a compact car and observe her while she shops at the local markets. I would thrill with delight to hear her "flutie voice" as she visits shop owners and collects bits of local gossip. She is just the kind of toweringly tall outgoing friend that I would love to pal around with. Oh how I would love to stay in her little guest room in Provence and listen to her chat with her husband. Or maybe we could drive around the Côte d'Azur in our compact car (not her blue or black car but a bright little red one -see the photo?). We would gaze at the sea while catching our breath after the shock of driving around those hairpin turns. Soon we would stop at a little out of the way restaurant, and I would delight in listening to her gush, exclaim and sigh over her carefully ordered meal.

After reading her memoir, I think Julia Child would be the perfect traveling companion. One who accepts the occasional discomfort in order to genuinely experience the local feel of a place. A good friend who knows how to appreciate another friend's goodwill.

With that in mind, I want to call your attention to a couple of good blogger friends, Sarah Laurence has a wonderful review of Julie and Julia and Vicki of French Essence also has a few related posts- one about Mastering The Art of French Cooking and one about driving in France. So please, go visit these exceptional writers!

We are the Dreamer; The Astronaut Farmer and Awards X's Three

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~
Have you seen the film, The Astronaut Farmer? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you want to tease yourself into dreaming again or get yourself a shot of dream adrenalin, spend some time with this story, which was filmed in New Mexico in 33 days. The Polish brothers, Mark and Michael, team up to co-write the screen play about a man who builds a rocket in his barn and dreams of becoming an astronaut. The brothers direct (Michael is the primary director) the quirky Charles Farmer (Billy Bob Thornton) and the sincere Audrey Farmer (Virginia Madsen). Charlie and Audie's three children are made up of an older sensitive, intelligent and humorous brother, Shepard (Max Thieriot), and two young adorable sisters. The girls, Stanley (Jasper Polish) and Sunshine (Logan Polish), are not actors at all but the children of the film makers, Mark and Michael Polish, and their presence lends a remarkable credibility to the film. One such real moment is when the little girl, Sunshine, brings a donut to her grandfather, Hal (Bruce Dern), who is sleeping in another room. She first yells to his reclining form, "Grandpa here's your donut!" Then she repeats in an emphatic whisper, "Grandpa, here's your donut." When she returns to the kitchen and says, "Grandpa no wake up," her innocent matter of fact authenticity nearly breaks my heart.

[Photo: Neutron Star 2004 NASA ]


There are no stop signs up there. There is no defining space. We've always defined our space. A wall here, a room there, a hallway, a road. We have this way of dividing our space until it equals a direction. We even created a space for the dead. Space is a difficult thing to grasp. (Charles Farmer)

I think we all place boundaries on our dreams. We all have some limit that we consciously or subconsciously place upon ourselves. Sometimes that's okay because the dream faded away but other times the influence of that dead-weight dream is pulling us back. We cannot fully live until it is addressed. Is there some dream that you are holding yourself back from? Can you dust off the dead past and set it into your alive future? Can you give yourself permission to have dream space? I hope so...may you continue to dream, and may those dreams come true.

This may not be a true story but it is indeed true that we need supportive relationships with people who know that our dreams matter.

The Astronaut Farmer teaches us that it's important that dreams are fulfilled.

May we all surround ourselves with supportive people who know that they love our 'dreaming selves'; and, may we love others in a way that fully supports their own dream visions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In that spirit of open support I want to acknowledge the people who have given Oasis Writing Link (OWL) blog awards lately, and also pass them on to the dear bloggers mentioned below. (If I missed you, please feel free to accept the award from me.)

Normal is a Cycle on a Washing Machine, Sarah LuLu 's blog out of Australia, gives readers a taste of real life including the wash, spin, and dry cycle. Her experience as a foster parent supervisor, mother and seeker encourages her readers to reach out and share their own life struggles and celebrations. I am honored that she thought of me for the Love My Friends award:


The Love My Friends award is bestowed onto blogs that are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers.

*Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.*

Here are 8 + 2 to make a nice even 10!

Love My Friends Award is passed on to:
Carol @ The Writers Porch
Catherine@ A Thousand Clapping Hands
Tessa@ An Aerial Armadillo
Elizabeth@ About New York
Jude@ Cariad in Crete
Fhina@ A Woman of No Importance
Bogey@ A View From the Fairway
TPC@ The Pink Cowboy
Linda@ Psyche Connections
Pat@ Mille Fiori Favoriti
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Woman of No Importance, Fhina, who cleverly writes about music, art, fashion from the UK while interspersing her life realities was kind enough to consider me for the Palabras como rosas award, which is for sharing "words that are like rose pedals" (according to my husband's translation). The open-hearted, intelligent and contemporary, Fhina, writes this about the Palabras Como Rosas Award:

"a lovely golden book with light leaves called Palabras como rosas, which translates into Words Like Roses." She writes that it is "my obligation to give this award to 9 people whose words are truly like the lingering and sweetly scented petals of a perfect rose".
Here are my 9 + 1:

Reya@ The Gold Puppy
Miriam@ Miriam's Art Journal
Amy@ Amy (Uncensored):
Linda@ Vulture Peak Muse
Ms Lucy@ Enchanted by Josephine
Janice@ Drinking the Moon
Mrs. French Fancy@ French Fancy
Lisa L@ A Really Simple Life
Natalie@ Musings from the Deep
R.Ramesh@ Global Madrasi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



View from the Fairway, Bogey, the clever poetic guy "up north" in Canada surprised me with this lovely acknowledgement as he writes:

Uber (synonym to Super) Amazing Blog Award is a blog award given to sites who:
-Inspire you
-Make you smile and laugh, or maybe give amazing information
-A great read
-Has an amazing design
-Any other reasons you can think of that make them Uber amazing!

Uber Amazing Blog Award
The rules of this award are:
Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 6 blogs
Let them know that they have received this Uber Amazing award by commenting on their blog.
Share the love and link to this post and to the person you received your award from.

Go visit these amazing blogs!


Becky@ Behind Blue Eyes
Artist@ Artist Unplugged
Fire Byrd@ Fire Byrd
Lake Viewer@ Sixty Five What Now
Sandi@ Holding Patterns
Chrisy@ Sophism Press


There are many bloggers who are wonderful and inspiring but I think that they do not want to participate in the blogger award fun. (I'm sorry if I misunderstood and/or missed you -please accept the award of your choice.) If you want some other blogs to visit, check out my sidebar or the blogs I follow for more exciting blog reading adventure!

Thank you for these awards, blogger friends, and may we all remember to dream...

Protection: Clint Drives the Gran Torino

*************************************************************************************

I have just finished watching the Clint Eastwood film Gran Torino, and find myself in a conflict. Living in Puerto Rico where homeowners with guns are not common, I see this vigilante figure in a comforting light. I know it's surprising because I am a known peace lover and I strongly resist the illegitimate use power. And yet my character has a conflict; I discovered this years ago when I was in the Navy. I realized that many people need protection because of various reasons- lack of education on the offender or offended side, misunderstood cultural and social differences, and many other reasons...the truth is that some people who have power are power-drunk.

**************

[Photo note: Aunt Wynoka Hicks (Dad's sister), Richard A. Pittmann, Sr. (Dad), Susan G. Pittmann Doleto (Mom). Aunt Wynoka has a black eye from her husband. Dad feels protective here with his arms around both women during a seasonal visit to Dad's family (back home) in Banner Springs,Tennessee. You can see the little bit of Cherokee that runs in our family on on the faces of Aunt W. and Dad-especially the eyes.]

**********

These individuals (and sometimes groups) haven't developed their ability to have compassion for unknown (or know) others. I've seen strangers, friends, and families in this powerful vs. powerless dynamic. Sometimes, it's expressed as a harmful act of will, a compassionate-less decision, or violence.

Have you seen this film, Gran Torino? Confession: I'm suffering from both projection and transference (forgive my psycho- babble) when it comes to this icon like man and this character, Walt; he shares a lot of behavior, and attitude traits with my father. I read that the story has a simple (simplistic?) plot, but I cannot agree. Clint's character is realistically placed in a Midwest house on a block undergoing a population change, and in my experience it resonates as historically and socially true.

I grew up around guns and I learned to handle a rifle in my early teens, which is when I noticed my own value conflict. My father was a hunter; I was against hunting; though, I shot pumpkins carefully balanced on fence post with a 22 caliber rifle. I also shot a BB gun in the backfield with my brother and cried over the occasional bird he and our cousins would shoot. "C won't let you shoot birds...you can't even burn a spider when she's around," Richie would tell his buddies. He was both proud and amused at my 'animal protector' stance. My younger brother, Richie, "my Buddie", I sometimes called him, would occasionally hang out with me. As an outdoor type "tomboy", I valued his friendship. I think he felt a lot of pressure to be "powerful" like our dad. He was wild and controlled by his temper; and yet, he was sweet and took care of me. too. In anger, his face would turn red, and it spread all the way to his ears. I would hold him down until he promised that he wouldn't go crazy and hit the offending person -sister, usually. I would release him when his ears returned to their normal color. He hated to be teased; and being the youngest and sole boy in a family of girls, we couldn't help playing pretty girl dress-up and re-naming him "Regina Sue"-as all four girls were middle-named Sue after our mother. My brother's actual name was Richard Alfred, Jr. as he was named after our father. Do you remember that Johnny Cash song "A boy named Sue?" (video posted below) It took on a special significance in our house.

My father gave me a feeling of strength and confidence in a distant and safe manner. He was respected as a powerful authority in our home, "Just wait until your dad gets home" were the dreaded words of my childhood. When I was about 14 years old, he changed. He gave up the throne of discipline. Both social and family life had changed, it was the 70's and Mom became a "women's libber" as did her girls. I suppose the gender role shift impacted Dad, too because he did not want to be the corporal "arm of justice" in our house anymore. But the imprint of a father's power stayed with me. And this father power-surprisingly found it's way into me when my children were born. I identified with his strength and became strong in that protective manner.

Yet, I must acknowledge that my mother had that fierce fight-for-the-underdog-sense but it was directed to society more than family. In my case, my own will to forcefully protect came as an instinct after having children. Hurt my children and you will have hell to pay. Now, I know this is mostly and emotional feeling because I am law-abiding. It's just that I feel a fierceness in me, a kind of uncompromising protective quality when it comes to children, my students, my rescued dogs. I use words and will for my battles, but I see the connection with Walt's attitude. I also know that it is just this over-man attitude that was the operative emotional force that allowed our neighbor, Brooks to murder my own mother. (click on sidebar, mother's murder, if you want to read about this tragic event.) I hope that people will use words instead of violence to settle disputes but rationality is a learned thought-habit; whereas, violence is an emotional reflex. When will we as a society learn to use both judgement and compassion in our conflict negotiations?

*******

Back to the movie: A bit of a plot summary is necessary here: the unfriendly Korean Vet Walt, instinctively protects his Hmong neighbors who are threatened by a local gang, and in gratitude they make him a hero. He despises the heroic yoke but to no avail. The community continues to bring him gifts of food and flowers. Eventually, he befriends the intelligent neighbor girl and takes on her brother as his protege. He teaches the teenager how to fit into male culture in the United States. Okay, here is where many take offense but I know the exact type of person he is portraying. Factory workers who celebrate being a man's man. I was related to them. Also, I admire strength of all kinds so I have patience with this kind of person. Walt's language is peppered with racial, gender, and cultural slurs. Did I miss anything? He is offensive but in the way that I know and understand. Underneath his foul language resides a code of honor. A code that says, I will not let the underdog be violated. Walt discovers that he has more in common with the struggling neighbors than he has with his own family. We see them from his perspective: Silly, well established in the material world, and weak.

'Gran Torino' Stills - Photo Gallery on Yahoo! Movies





I am not going to ruin the conclusion because the movie is relatively new and many of you may not have seen it yet. However, I will contend that the ending is true to life. As I mentioned earlier, my father underwent a similar transformation in his attitude towards violence and prejudice. Now that both of my parents are gone, I so miss having a Protector (in the form of a person) in my life. I will leave you with Johnny Cash and "A Boy Named Sue."

They think I'm Paper Mooning them...

I feel as though I was handed the moon and I don't know what to do with it.




Anne of Green Gables









I was watching the Gilmore Girls series this past week and I started pondering the way words are creatively changed -specifically how the word "paper moon" undergoes a transformation. If you've never watched the series or just don't remember, Rory says "They think I'm paper mooning them" to Lorelai when she is persuaded to return a shirt for a third time to the same store. I appreciate inter-textual references and the layered feeling of deftly handled language. This led me on a journey... first, I had to look up criticism about the series, to locate any references to the phrase. I found that some fans tried to watch the movie, Paper Moon, and were put off by the 1970's style filming, which is strange because it is set in the 1930s. If you clicked on the GG link above you may have read some offensive criticism about the show. I write "offensive" but only to those of you who are serious GG watchers. (I know I may be speaking only to myself here.)

I like the show in part because it nostalgically reminds me of the twenty or so years I lived and worked in a little village town in Coronado, California. I admit, I am also highly critical of the inconsistencies or false historical (story-wise not the anachronisms, which can be funny) references in plot, the way a character is changed by whim and perhaps discarded (Lane's first boyfriend), and the occasional (or frequent) bad acting of a couple (here unnamed) characters. But enough!! I've heard the collective sigh surging from the depths of the OWL family, and I'm well aware of my reader's lack of interest in the dead-put -another-nail-in-the- coffin series. (Just to let you know-it's still alive for me. You certainly can argue your points in the comment section and I will engage!)


After my search that lead to the linked above Chicago Tribune articles and another to their GG series blog, I knew it was time to watch Paper Moon. I had seen it in the 70s and remember trying to understand what the big deal was about...I was a teenager and couldn't fully appreciate the black and white style filming. Caution: as a mother and thereby conditioned to be responsible person, it's shocking to see a nine year old Tatum O'Neal (smoking and inhaling!) a cigarette.

In sum, the film is about a young motherless girl and her mother's former "boyfriend" (Ryan O'Neal) who end up taking a road trip together to deliver the girl to her conservative aunt-who strongly disapproved of her now dead 'floozy' sister. Along the trip, it turns out that the young girl is a protege in the art of scamming people out of their money. Consequently,"they think I'm paper mooning them" is a creative evolution of the meaning "they suspect I'm tricking them," in the Gilmore Girls series.


Paper Moon the movie (clips)




Ella Fitzgerald's lyrics to Paper Moon...

I never feel a thing is real
When I'm away from you
Out of your embrace
The world's a temporary parking place
A bubble for a minute
You smile, the bubble has a rainbow in it

Say, its only a paper moon
Sailing over a cardboard sea
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me

Yes, it's only a canvas sky
Hanging over a muslin tree
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me

Without your love
It's a honky-tonk parade
Without your love
It's a melody played in a penny arcade

It's a Barnum and Bailey world
Just as phony as it can be
But it wouldn't be make-believe
If you believed in me

Naturally, I remembered this song and searched YouTube for the familiar Nat King Cole rendition but I realized that we have a father/daughter theme going here with Ryan and Tatum O'Neal. Why not keep it going with another father/daughter pair, Nat King and Natalie Cole, in honor of the approaching Father's Day?

The Dapper Dad:




The Lovely Lady:




The next phase of my research took a philosophical turn as I looked into the Persian mystic, Omar Khayyam's, Rubaiyat:

Ah, Moon of my Delight who know'st no wane,


The Moon of Heav'n is rising once again;


How oft hereafter rising shall she look


Through this same Garden after me-in vain!


Paramahansa Yogananda writes in Autobiography of a Yogi that the Moon of Delight is God or one who is eternally free and that the Garden is earth or ordinary life. Hence, there is no more rebirth for this seer. (346) So I'm thinking about the paper moon as a symbol of the transient body except the song keeps plowing it way through my brain...another association:


What do you want? You...you want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down. Hey! That's a pretty good idea! I'll give you the moon, Mary. ... Then you can swallow it, and it'll all dissolve see, and the moonbeams would shoot out of your fingers and your toes and the ends of you hair ... am I talking too much?"(George)
"Why don't you kiss her instead of talking her to death?" (man on porch)





















Nate again, this time "Fly me to the Moon"...





These far reaching (too?) associations could continue towards infinity (or at least Jupiter and Mars) so here, I must stop.

Enjoy swooning to the June moon...

Tender Mercies

Recently, my daughter said to me,"I didn't know your dad played the guitar. Why didn't you ever tell me?" I wrote about my family growing up in a rural area in Michigan in March this year but so much of my memory of that time was overshadowed by later events, particularly my mother's murder. I hardly ever write about my father, Richard, who died when he was 49 years old. It's difficult to write about him; I often think about the fact that he died before mom came out. They had an intense relationship with lots of fighting and making up. He was a dedicated father and a traditional family man. I guess it would have been confusing for him to know about mom's love of women.

I was so close to him. We had the same kind of quiet manner and appreciation of nature. He used to take time to teach me to sing. He knew mostly country gospel songs though he wasn't a religious "church going" man. He didn't talk much about spiritual subjects; actually, he didn't talk much at all. I used to think that he found God in nature but now I wonder if I was thinking about myself. Robert Duvall plays a character similar to my father's in the following scene from the movie, Tender Mercies.




Mac Sledge (Robert Duvall) teaches Sonny (Allan Hubbard) a bit about playing the guitar.



I remember this song, "The Old Country Church" in particular. We sang it in two parts, Dad would sing the low part and I would echo with the high. He was quite serious while teaching me and I knew that if I didn't pay attention my lesson would end. With five children in our family, I did not want to lose his undivided attention. I think I was the only one he taught these songs to but I cannot be completely sure. I am sure that I felt special when he took out his guitar and taught me to sing the songs he learned in his rural Tennessee childhood.



Dad's Wild-wood Rose

Open fields where
Long corn-rows stretch tiny...
Walking in the back-field,
"Who cut down the cornstalk?"
"I did. I'm sorry."
Sun-sweat in 100 degree weather...
"Can you make some ice tea?"

Tomatoes rest plump,
Victorious over healthy weeds.
Sun-falls and evening-rises.
A black hymnal falls open,
"Can we sing, The Old Country Church?"

The curved wood vibrates a melody
Through Dad's strings...
Crickets gently join
Cotton-wood heart shaped leaves
Dip and bless quiet-cool
All is well

Cynthia Pittmann

I miss my dad's company. I miss sitting out on the porch, lilac scent streaming through the cigarette smoke while watching lightning bugs. I would sit quiet waiting for the evening silence to break with a few words from my dad. And hope, too, to see his gold-tooth smile as he told a childhood story.

I remember your songs and your stories. Goodbye, Dad.

Richard Alfred Pittmann October 19, 1936-August 5, 1996

The Truth about Lying-Honest! (Update)

Flixster - Share Movies

Kate: A healthy person is someone who expresses what they're feeling inside. Express, not repress.

Luc: In that case, you must be one of the healthiest people in the world.

Most of you have seen probably seen the movie, French Kiss. Below, I have posted a slightly exaggerated but funny scene on cultural differences that relates to a kind of "truth." Kate (Meg Ryan) is telling the charmingly cunning and slightly infatuated Frenchman Luc (Keven Kline) that her facial expressions have to match her emotions. Why do I find her sincerity amusing? I think that most of my life, I have been this American type as well...maybe you are too? Perhaps, I fool myself when I think I have absorbed Puerto Rican culture enough to maintain a strategically neutral face. (I secretly think that Puerto Ricans and the French people have a lot in common when it comes to customer service. Perdoname!)

Watch the short scene above

I believe in emotional honesty but tempered with a kindness that fits the situation. For example, truth that hurts sometimes has a hidden motive. I much prefer to hear "You haven't gained any weight" than "What happened? You were sooooo thin!" Why am I thinking about what honesty means?


Linda of Vulture Peak Muse bestowed this clever, "You've been through a lot" (my re-name) award upon me a couple of weeks ago but I haven't been able to address the requirements. I know that the award is for writing with honesty and is given to those who share their life experiences in writing. After receiving this award, Linda took on the challenge and wrote an incredibly honest account of her life but later deleted it. I know how she feels, it's a personal risk to be honest. Sometimes, I think I over-share here at Oasis Writing Link but I've come to accept this aspect of my personality. I love truth in writing-especially when it involves personal emotional risk. I admire people who can accept themselves so well that they are willing to share openly-flaws and all. Of course, everyone has their own understanding of honesty. With that in mind, I will proceed with posting the rules and fulfilling the requirements of this Honest Scrap Award:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi friends, just a bit of self-interruption to tell all of you that Reveda the sweet dimpled baby gave me this award, too. I just found it thanks to Braja. Love to you sweet baby and everyone go over there and look at her darling face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The rules of this award are:

1.You must brag about the award.
2.You must include the name of the blogger who bestowed the award on you and link back to the blogger.
3.You must choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
4.Show their names and links and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog
5.List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ten Honest Things About Myself

1. I enjoy writing and would like to finish my dissertation this summer so that I could write in another style with a more personal focus.

2. I'm extremely attached to my daughter and am secretly suffering yet pleased that she has a desire to go off to study far away from me.

3.When I was a child, I wanted to be an artist. I must still have this desire because I surround myself with artistic type people and both of my children study the arts. (music and painting)

4.I also wanted to be a go-go girl -dancer-until my father spoke to me quite strongly, "Being a go-go girl is not a career!" He was so serious and harsh that I realized I might not know what being a go-go girl meant.

5. I'm highly conscious of maintaining healthy lifestyle but also drink coffee...coffee...coffee! (I'm convinced that Puerto Rican coffee is the best coffee in the world and I cannot resist it.

6. I have a vivid memory of people, the past and emotions. When I want to recall an experience-my own or something I read/viewed, I see a picture in my mind and emotions are drawn to the image...so I remember novels I read as a child or young person but not necessarily the author's name or the name of the book. The visual image connected to emotion is alive in my mind...also emotional expressions on people's faces.

7. I avoided taking math at the university; when it was time to graduate, I had to study independently and pass a math competency exam. If I did not pass the exam, I couldn't graduate. The third and final attempt was successful.

8. I have a tendency to worry, which makes me ultra careful about exposing myself to news of all types. Nevertheless, I am completely open to personal sharing and other "real" stories, and consider it an honor when people trust me enough to share.

9. (related to # 8) I have been a "counselor" (career, college, prison) many times and look at all my life interactions in this manner.

10. When I was 20 years old, I climbed to the top of the beautiful Blarney Castle in Killarney, Ireland, leaned back (hung upside down) while my sister, Pamala, held my feet and kissed the Blarney Stone. From that point on, I was blessed with the gift of eloquence and I have a certificate to prove it!


The last requirement:

Then pass it on with the instructions!

1. Colleen's My Journey to Ironman. (She has an incredible way of making a contribution to the world health.)

2. Ms. Lucy of Enchanted by Josephine

3. Natalie of Musings from the Deep

4. Julie of Tangobaby

5. Paris of Remembering Paris

6. Braja of Lost and Found in India

7. Michelle of The Truth as I Know it

Now imagine that you are listening to Billy Joel singing "Honesty" since "they" won't give permission to embed the You Tube!

La Bamba; Confidence and Self-Importance

Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.

Carlos Castaneda Anthropologist and Writer

University of California

Do you remember in the movie, "La Bamba" when Ritchie's mother, Connie Valenzuela gets offended because the band does not allow her son to play solo at an evening garage performance? Ricki jumps in the car where his whole family is waiting and she asks, "What did they mean ...not letting you play, Ritchie?" He says, "Don't worry, I'll get them to listen." Connie is angry, though, and she says, "My Grandfather was a full blooded Yaqui Indian..."

I aways smile when I think of that pride. What is it? Mother's pride? Family pride? Some part of me knows that it does not really matter how you came into this world and which group of people you belong to...but another part can relate to that indignant mother! Respect! It's like Aretha Franklin R-E-S-P-E-C-T!

(Photo Yaqui People C1910 Mexico)

I'm thinking about confidence and balancing our needs with the needs of others....of knowing that you can make a difference in your own life and in the lives of others....of putting yourself out in the world. I think many of us are born with a introverted character, we have to learn to express our needs. Others are born with an extroverted tendency and may overlook the needs of others. Neither is necessarily better because we have to learn balance, either way. I know some people who keep giving until they harm themselves...and others who tightly hold on to what they have -but the universe or chance creates hardship and loss anyway. Perhaps, teaching generosity to some children is difficult in some way but so is teaching children to stand up for themselves and be noticed.

Many years ago, when my daughter was singing at a small theatre for a school function, I watched her get pushed away from the microphone by a more aggressive singing partner. (I have it on film so it's clear in my memory.) The other girl's parents had the shame of their daughter's public behavior to deal with but the girl who pushed was the one who was heard the most. I kept thinking that my daughter should have moved back toward the microphone and tried to sing again instead of staying in the background. I always wonder what is the right guidance to give in those situations. I didn't want my daughter to grow up into an aggressive personality but I did want her to know how to stand up for herself. She's turned out fine but I still wonder how to handle pushy people in the world.

As a shy child, I had to learn how to stand up for myself. My mother frequently commented about my own sensitive ways. She used to say, "I worry about you. You need to toughen up!" I think I must have gotten much bolder in my teen years but I remember feeling the need of support before I could try something new. I waited for friends to say, "Hey, you can do it!" I think you miss a lot of opportunities when you need to wait for someone else to discover your talents and encourage you to move ahead. Sometimes even people you love just don't want you to excel too much . Why is that? I'm naive a bit- when someone tells me it's control and jealousy, I don't want to believe it. Usually, I just look away and try not to notice. I think maybe my daughter does that too. It's a strategy. I don't know if it's the best one.

What do you think about confidence and self-importance? Sometimes when it comes to my children, I'm like Ritchie's mother, Connie Valenzuela. Do you remember when she was imagining for her son and she looked up into the sky while visualizing, "Ricky Vallenzuela and his Flying Guitar?" She's dreaming big for her child...her cause...