Dear Mom

For Susan Pittmann who died a violent death by an angry and bitter man on this day 22 years ago:

Dear Mom,

I like to think of you as happy with all of your children and grandchildren nearby. 

You must know that you indeed have lived a successful life - though brief, you made every day meaningful! 

You taught me how to love unconditionally and focus on the good in people. 

Your memory is a great comfort to me.

I celebrate your life more and more every day! 

Your loving daughter, 

Cynthia ❤️

"To laugh often and much; 

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded."

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 - 1882)

Traveling Today through JFK

I'm hearing the soft rhythm of Sade playing in the background while drinking large gulps of American style coffee and sitting at a clean table on a cushioned chair using free wifi and an iPad set up for public use. Where am I? A coffee house?

No! I'm at the JFK airport in New York.

What happened to travel in the last few years? The last time I was in this airport on a family trip, the plane was delayed, we had lost our connection, and it was dreadfully uncomfortable. We waited for hours cold, hungry, tired and trying to sleep on the floor with fifty other waylaid travelers caught in route like flies in this crafty spider web of concourses, terminals and shuttles. Victims at the mercy of impatient airline officials and over zealous security agents, e.g.

 "Where are you going and to what purpose?" 

"Home"  

 "What are you transporting in that red jar? 

"It's homemade cherry preserves?!" (There they go into the trash!)

I felt like running to the nearest exit, "I'm unsat! I'm unsat!" For those of you who don't know, that's military jargon for "unsatisfactory" but it's equivalent now would be "that's a fail." Only the panic feeling of "I'm unsat" is more to the point. I felt guilty and afraid that I would get caught. But what had I done? The general atmosphere after 9/11 was intense, we were all guilty until proven innocent. I stayed  away for a good while. I stopped traveling north. 

Today, I'm mystified by the contrast of my memory with the current reality. Is this the same nightmare airport where more than once,  I've been caught midstream on my way to somewhere.

I'm not complaining about the comfortable wait, I'm just taking it all in and feeling more and more delighted by the moment! Times have changed while I've been sipping a cool drink by the ocean on the beautiful island of Puerto Rico -  oh yes, they keep changing by the moment! I'm pleasantly surprised that this change is good; in fact, it's brilliant!

Under the Umbrella

Photoshoot: Mini-break staycation #1

Under the Umbrella

#2

#3

Photo of the Day : Red Hibiscus

The hibiscus flower and its short life reminds me that all life is brief as are all experiences.

Hibiscus  is a relatively common flower that I've encountered in California and other places in the United States. However, in Puerto Rico the Hibiscus is the Flower of Puerto Rico and has some differences from the common flower I've seen elsewhere. They grow to a smaller size than elsewhere and are individual single flowers supported by a long leafy base. Nevertheless, I consider all of these tropical flowers wherever they are grown to be delightful. Knowing that the bud will open one morning into a flower that will last but one day, does not detract from their beauty. In fact, when the potted hibiscus blooms on the porch (as it did this morning), I remind myself to delight in this moment because in 24 hours this bloom will close and be gone forever. Isn't that an important reminder about all life and experience?


I'm reminded by the Hibiscus to appreciate the beauty of all life experience because each event is here now, and never will return in the same way. For example, our children are only young for a short time.  When the two year old innocence is gone, it is replaced by another version of that same child. Every stage of growth is wonderful and awful knowing that it will be experienced as both a blessing and another loss. The nostalgia you feel when looking at your children's childhood photographs provides evidence that this is true.

We have to learn to love, appreciate deeply, and then let go and move on to embrace the next moment.

Every difficult moment has it's own life expectancy, too. We should cultivate observing the gift in this transitory moment regardless of judgement. Breathe and notice.  This skill requires attention and a willingness to experience each moment in all of its thrilling (or frightening) beingness.

The hibiscus flower and its short life reminds me that all life is brief as are all experiences. It is indeed important to know this fact and to confront forgetfulness - to remember, I am alive. You are alive. What are we waiting for?  

Let us embrace this moment!

Sunset

Dollop of buttery sun melts into the toasted twilight...

Om-day

Beginning's End, Beginning

In the flow, rapid and slow

In the gaps, on the line-less

Space to down the feather

Comfort, gently caught in the

Breeze, tips brushing tiny

Moments of meaning, until

All evaporates and disperses 

Into cloudy and condencing,

Contracting and squeezing ...

Beginnings pouring out into

Boundary-less sky

Caught by gravity, pushed 

Down and pulled by 

destiny and desire filling 

Soil with essence, quenched,

Now flooded in pools

Splashed about by children 

In summer stripes and

Sun-suits, joy-splashers

Innocent and abundant...

More than complete, 

Spilling over in easy

Harmony, seen, absorbed

Delight in a corner smile 

Where another watches, 

Breathes and releases in-

To another life, in another

Moment, neither near or

Far, but close and certain

At end's beginning, 

Beginning ends.

~Meditations on a Sunday afternoon

 

 Cynthia Pittmann

Transitions

 

Life and Letting Go

Sitting on the porch step perplexed and

Pondering wherefore, whence and whatever! 

However, how come, hence and finally,

What goes around, comes around.

Return,  depart and what happened? 

My little boy is growing up, 

Just the way he should. He's 

Moving out and becoming 

All that he wants to be. 

I'm happy-sad, spilling over 

Confusion and curtailed honesty.

Must be strong. Be well. Be better

But my boy is moving out. Starting

To fly (I almost pushed him 

Out of this house-nest)

So say it loud!

Say it clear! Deep breath:

Be well! It's time. 

Bye hon. Bon voyage! (and 

Buck up, Mom.)

PS.

Sending love and hugs!