An Excellent Film: A Mighty Heart

Film review and photo credit

I've just finished watching the movie, A Mighty Heart with Angela Joli. I 've avoided watching this movie, I confess. It seemed too difficult to confront the real murder of a journalist through the eyes and experience of his pregnant wife, Mariane, who is also a journalist. Some of you know that my own mother was murdered and I find these stories difficult to watch. I remember the media that surrounded my mother's murder and the opportunistic way that those involved tried to use the story to foster their own often unrelated causes.

In Mom's case, the Huron Township Police Chief, Mr. Cagal, tried to use her murder to argue against gun control. Others carried the story with an emphasis on property line disputes emphasizing how people allow their emotions to get out of control. The problem with these interpretations was that Mom and her partner, Christine Puckett, were treated as somehow responsible for the event. Their same sex relationship was hinted at but not addressed as the real reason for the murders. One article was published with the headline, "Two Lesbian Women Shot" and this created a stir in the gay community. No one except the gay community wanted to admit that it was a hate crime. The general media tone was geared to comfort their reading audience by couching the truth in a mild it-could-never-happen-to-you message. I had a shocking realization that the news reports were gently placing the blame on my mother and Christine by subtle inference even though the facts tell us that they did not kill him, they did not carry out weapons, and they were innocent of any crime.

One of the reports, revealed that James Brooks had used a shovel to attempt to hit Christine. Mom went into the house and called the police. Soon after this, she called the police again to report that Christine was shot. Does this sound like a woman who would let her emotions get out of control? She was on the phone when she witnessed Christine's murder, she dropped the receiver and she went out to help. Brooks came out with a shot gun, came up close to Mom, and she didn't turn away. She spoke with him as he shot her at close range. There is no doubt that the newspapers were placing the blame on the victims by their objective stance. There is a feeling that we have to uncover the real story. (It couldn't be an unprovoked murder.)

The problem with objectivity is clear. If Mom was enraged or "over-emotional" she would have gotten a weapon herself. Friends, this is rural Michigan, everyone has guns. Mom had a license to carry a handheld weapon because she transported substantial sums of cash and was occasionally threatened in her real estate business. She also had the "normal" weapons, rifles and such that you have on a farm. Brooks had weapons, too. Only he used them to shoot animals that crossed onto his property,e.g. chickens, dogs and a goat. And he used his guns to shoot and kill both Mom and Christine. They were the innocent of any crime so why did the papers try to shape the story in a way that softly but securely placed part of the blame on those murdered instead of securely on the the murderer?

When Brooks was questioned as to why he killed them, he said "It had to be done." Did the community of reporters, police, and passersby agree? I reflect on the thinking, "So two lesbian women were killed? Life goes on. Don't get in fights with your neighbors." And under these messages there is that subtle message, "If you are lesbian, watch out. Keep it a secret. You also could be killed."

~~~

The movie murder depiction has something in common with hate crimes. It is talking about terrorism and senseless murders but also it successfully delivers a message about tolerance. One review, criticizes the lack of information provided about the cross-cultural undercurrent that contributed to the murder; and though I understand the film director's choices (Michael Winterbottom) I do think many "why" questions are left unanswered.

I think that the story could have benefited from a historical placement of the conflict between Muslims and Hindus because many viewers do not understand the history of religious tension and peace between the two groups. Unfortunately, most people like to have an easy target in which to place the word terrorist, usually depicted in an image wearing a head wrap of some sort which results in the meaning: head wrap + dark face = terrorist. I've had friends who were detained by the airport security because of suspicious skin tone, or an Arab look. (Puerto Ricans are a multi-cultural group.)

That's me in my cold university office warming myself with a makeshift sweater head wrap. Watch out!

~~~

Mariane Pearl's memoir, A Mighty Heart; The Brave Life and Death of my Husband, provided the inspiration for this film. Mariane tries to show the world a way to understanding through continued dialogue and a shift from the focus on fear and retaliation. Pearl's insight is informed by Buddhists principles and as she continues sharing the story, she extends both her husband's and her own committment toward peaceful action in this world. (Here is the link to the organization Mariane Pearl founded.)

Hugs (abrazos) to All; Sisterhood and Friendship Awards

On September 2007, The International Day of Peace, my daughter, Amber and a group of high school teens (spearheaded by Rafa in the photo) organized a free hugs campaign in the Old City (Old San Juan, Puerto Rico). They carried signs and smiles and offered hugs to people arriving to Puerto Rico from cruise ships, tourists and bemused, muddled and confused locals. As the activity caught on, people began to understand the gesture of goodwill and many began to accept "Free Hugs." (An article featuring the story was written by Libni Sanjurjo Melendez in Primera Hora on Sabado 22 de Septiembre de 2007; Jovenes conmemoran el Dia Internacional de la Paz Regalan abrazos en Viejo San Juan, Panorama 22) The teens were questioned by police and after much discussion and delay were allowed to continue.

I am so proud of these teens and my daughter for understanding love and showing the way to sometimes hesitant adults. Everyone needs a hug!

I applaud all people who recognize the power of affection and appreciation!

Hug a Tree!
Hug a Puppy ! Hug a Friend!

Hug a Blogger!

The Hug (Tess Gallagher)
A woman is reading a poem on the street
and another woman stops to listen. We stop too,
with our arms around each other. The poem
is being read and listened to out here
in the open. Behind us
no one is entering or leaving the houses.

Suddenly a hug comes over me and I'm
giving it to you like a variable star shooting light
off to make itself comfortable, then
subsiding. I finish but keep on holding
you . A man walks up to us and we know he hasn't
come out of nowhere, but if he could he
would have. He looks homeless because of how
he needs. "Can I have one of those?" he asks you,
and I feel you nod. I'm surprised,
surprised you don't tell him how
it is-that I'm yours, only...
~~~

In the spirit of sharing peace, I give you Abundant Hugs

~~~

Linda Socha from Psyche Connections has honored Oasis with the affirming Sisterhood Award for giving her "laughter, learning, and perspective." Please go visit her blog and enjoy her peppy and touching posts. Open hearted Natalie of Musings of the Deep has also shared this Sisterhood Award with me and to top that off, she also shared the Friendship Award with me! Such a community of warm and intelligent friends in this blog world.





I would like to share the Sisterhood Award with these bloggers who share love, laughter and insight...

1. Butternut Squash Goddess of the Confluence

2. The Muse at Muse Swings

3. Sheila the artists who writes From Forensic to Fine Art

4. Carol of The Writer's Porch

5. Dianne of Intutive Painting

and those bloggers with abundant hearts must have the Friendship Award...

1. Reya Mellicker of The Gold Puppy

2. Pat of Mille Fiori Favorite

3. Just a Plane Ride Away

4. Linda of Vulture Peak Muse

5. Rudee the Knitting Nurse

If I missed you, please accept a long hug of apology and take the award you deserve!

You are a living story. Become aware of the stories you tell about yourself and your world. Participate consciously in the writing of the next chapter of your life.

Deepak Chopra and David Simon (The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga)
~~~

Also, Thank you Bill Austin the Best Blog of the Day Award! (March 5, 2009). If you would like to nominate a friend's blog or your own, click on the Sharing Blog Love link on the Oasis sidebar under the award.



~~~

On Accepting Your Sisterhood or Friendship Award...

Here's how award process works:

1. Put the logo on your blog or post.
2. Nominate at least 5 blogs.
3. Be sure to link to your nominees within your post.
4. Let them know that they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
5. Share the love and link this post to the person from whom you received your award.

Watch the video that made it all happen!

On Being Someone's Son or Daughter

Kelly Corrigan takes what might have been a fairly standard story of survival, and reframed it, most charmingly, as a coming of age narrative. We see here a headstrong girl, under the most severe adversity, turn into a genuinely strong woman.

—Carolyn See, author of Making a Literary Life

Kelly Corrigan addresses a difficult subject in her memoir, The Middle Place . (Corrigan's blog link) The narrative begins with early childhood memories of a dynamic yet embracing father and continues on to weave in a story about cancer survival while she addresses her placement within the proud Irish-American family fabric. I agree with Carolyn See in the quote above- that the expected story would have been a survival story about one woman's experience with cancer. Yet, Kelly Corrigan, skillfully leads us into our own understanding of family relationships and their meaning within our lives.

~~~

The documentary interview was finished. I was at the Detroit Metropolitan Airport preparing to return to Puerto Rico, steeped in my own memories of the past, when a series of mechanical irregularities (failed plane saftey test!) waylaid me to the Clarian hotel in the Metro area where I could thankfully give into Kelly Corrigan's reading experience. I was with her as she grew up on Wooded Lane in Philadelphia where she had the usual conflicts with her family, school and life in general. She was a young girl fighting for her place in the family and in the world.

Corrigan takes us to a memory land that we may never have actually lived but one that we all have lived enough. Let me explain. Our general life patterns overlap and we become adults. For most of us, we have a life defining shift that usually involves deep pain. It is that common human experience that provides a place to connect with the true story of a real person in a real life. Corrigan's honesty compels you to read on and wills you to understand how someone under great stress can find the will to continue activily participating in life while struggling to survive cancer. Corrigan is in the Middle Place-that place between childhood and full adulthood-a comforting place boxed in by childhood memory and young adult security. She writes that when she found out that she had cancer, she immediately need to call home-the location of her home still being where her mother and father live even though she is married and has two small children of her own. I was particularly perplexed about the location of this "Middle Place". After I read a bit more, I was grateful that she didn't have to confront it's passage too early in her life.

~~~

What happens in your life when you are not someone's son or daughter? That's how my life is now with both parents gone. It's the natural course of events and most will arrive here at the uppermost generational tier. We hope it's not too soon. We hope were ready for the next phase. We hope we can breathe at this higher altitude. When our parents die, we feel like a child again. The feeling of our home, a feeling of situatedness evaporates with their death. Then the work of locating home inside, begins and we start learning how to parent ourselves.

In this uppermost space resides the location of possibility where we can learn to take on the responsibility of creating (recreating) the family feeling in our lives. We decide to continue or begin some of our own family traditions. In this place of hope, we may learn to be the unconditional givers to those we love. Here we may learn to create our own family, which may include close friends. Or maybe, we will need to create a family that is comprised only of friends. In this place, it is possible to broaden our concept of family to combine all of humanity. And it is here where we may begin to feel that it is necessary to act- to offer assistance to all who are suffering.

I often wonder when will we redefine our realm of responsibility -our boundary of concern -so that we will not tolerate another day of hunger in this world. When will we be able to overcome the fearful hesitancy that keeps our hands in our pockets instead of reaching out to those in need?

When my parents died, I began to understand that I had to take some of this responsibility for others upon myself. Do we have to lose our parents to begin to understand that we must continue to foster empathy and compassion in this world? That we have to share in the responsibility and care for all of those who surround us? Must we wait for our losses to eventually push us into broadening our area of concern to include not just people, but animals and the environment too?

It is my hope that when we all encounter the passage from this Middle Place to full adulthood that we re-think our position in this world. Personally, I hope to find the right balance between my values and my actions in order to live a life completely harmonized by integrity. I hope to foster within myself pure motive guided by empathy and the best for all concerned. May all humanity make it successfully through this Middle Place. And when the time comes, may we all graduate into the Upper Place with the will to live in peace with each other; be it our family, friends, neighbors, and also extended out to all religions and to all countries. I am confident that this understanding of the Upper Place represents a kind of graduation for all of humanity.

May we all find ourselves living this vision of peace.

Today, more than ever before, life must be characterized by a sense of universal responsibility, not only nation to nation and human to human, but also human to other forms of life.

Dalai Lama

A Journey Back from the Past

As I left for the interview from the San Juan International Airport, I collected my thoughts by writing in a journal, reading newspaper clippings of the murder, and focusing on re-remembering. Sometime during this process, I looked out the window and saw the setting sun; I remembered the Goodbye Sun post and thought of how serendipitous life can be.

I brought photos to share with Brian Alexander, the documentary film maker of the Pittmann Puckett Story (working title). Who is that little perplexed girl scratching her head? She's thinking, "What's this life all about?"
My family of seven celebrated when we finally bought a VW bus- where we could at last have enough room. Before this time, we would all pack our sardine selves into a little VW bug- the Love-Too-Much bug. I remember one time we forgot to close the door securely and when my mother turned into the driveway on Middlebelt Road one of my siblings spilled out the door and landed shaken but unharmed onto the street!

My dad was a handsome man who used his serious face to control his wild bunch of children. When we got older, we realized the crinkled blue eyes were a give away. He was often laughing on the inside! Here's the famous serious Clint Eastwood expression of Dad's.

I grew up in a rural area of Michigan in a house that was built in 1936. I enjoyed Christmas with my family the most of all. I had hoped we would always stay together but life has its own twist and turns...

sometimes it makes knots...

Dad died in August 5, 1986 at 49 years.

~~~

This trip I had a chance to visit the Pittmann farm again.


It's shocking to think that my mother was murdered here on the half-circle drive.

Travel makes you think about new beginnings and new possibilities, don't you think?

These Michigan Bradford Pear tree buds want to bloom

...may the season favor their growth...

May all life have its chance to become.

~~~

Thank you dear blogger friends for your kind words of support.

I felt you all ever-present as I spoke during the interview.

Documentary Interview and Award

Hello friends, I´ve been a bit busy lately and I want to excuse myself for this weekend also. I´ll be away from blogland because I´m being interviewed for the documentary that is being made on the murder of my mother, Susan Pittmann and her partner, Christine Puckett. (Click on the sidebar, "Goodbye Sun" for more detail.)

This is my mother at 50 years old (and Chris), just after graduating from her bachelor´s degree program in Social Work from Wayne State University, Michigan. I am so please and proud that she attained her deferred dream of a college education after raising five children. She also lived an active socially conscious life and spent most of her time working to make the world a better place for everyone.

Please send me positive thoughts so that I can share my part of the family story. I hope to raise consciousness about this horrible crime and perhaps help people to understand that we are all connected to each other and our actions, words and attitude either positively or negatively influence society.

May we all come to accept that everyone has a right to happiness regardless of race, gender or sexual orientation.

°°°°°°°

But before I go, I have the Premio Dardos award to give to my dynamic, intelligent and engaged bloggers. Fhina, from the blog, A Woman of No Importance has given me the following award for my "beautiful life and excellent reviews." The instructions were that I should give it to 15 (!) bloggers for my own reasons. Awardees should link back to me and pass it on to 15 blogs of their own selection. (Just do what you can!)

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"This award acknowledges the values that every Blogger displays in their effort to transmit cultural, ethical, literary, and personal values with each message they write. Awards like this have been created with the intention of promoting community among Bloggers. It’s a way to show appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.”

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1. Charmaine´s High Desert Diva

2. Catherine´s A Thousand Clapping Hands

3. Lisa L´s A Really Simple Life

4. Enchanted by Josephine

5. Jude´s Cariad in Crete

6. Cherie´s Butterfly Dreamer

7. Sheila´s From Forensic to Fine Art

8. Butternut Squash´s Goddess of the Confluence

9. JBA´s In Good Shape

10. Elis Cooke´s Journey by Journal

11. Mama Shujaa

12. MuseSwings

13. Reyna´s The Gold Puppy

14. Michelle´s The Truth as I Know it

15. Moannie´s The View From This End

Dear blogger friends, I hope I gave to everyone who wanted an award. If I missed you, please help yourself.

I send everyone of you appreciation and love.

Heart to Heart

The Secret Life of Bees (Sue Monk Kidd 2002/Film 2008)

I can tell you this much: the world is a great big log thrown on the fires of love. (August)


A Summary:

"Sue Monk Kidd's ravishing debut novel has stolen the hearts of reviewers and readers alike with its strong, assured voice. Set in South Carolina in 1964, "The Secret Life of Bees" tells the story of Lily Owens, whose life has been shaped around the blurred memory of the afternoon her mother was killed. When Lily's fierce-hearted "stand-in mother," Rosaleen, insults three of the town's fiercest racists, Lily decides they should both escape to Tiburon, South Carolina--a town that holds the secret to her mother's past. There they are taken in by an eccentric trio of black beekeeping sisters who introduce Lily to a mesmerizing world of bees, honey, and the Black Madonna who presides over their household. This is a remarkable story about divine female power and the transforming power of love--a story that women will share and pass on to their daughters for years to come." (google books)

A Bad Film Review:

Over the years, we've all seen too many anachronistic ''magic Negroes'' in movies like "Forrest Gump" and "The Green Mile". The saintly African-American matriarchy of "The Secret Life of Bees" may appear benign by comparison. Yet the film, set in the civil rights era, has a dated, musty piety that too often evokes the liberal message mongering of that time. The Secret Life of Bees is a lesson — or, rather, a whole series of them — we no longer need to learn. Of course, it's also a divine-sisterhood-defeats-all chick flick, and on that score there's no denying that its clichés are rousingly up to date. C (Owen Gleiberman is a film critic for EW)

***

While still in tears over the heartwarming film, "The Secret Lives of Bees," I slipped over to my laptop to check a few reviews. I was most surprised when I read a negative review of the film. Owen Gleiberman's main bone of contention seems to be what he calls the portrayal of another magical negro; he awards the film a C grade. From what I understand, the critic's primary issue is that he cannot bear another movie that portrays helpless white people being saved by another magical black person. I think the person who wrote this review continues to have an issue with color, even though he says that we have learned this lesson enough; he argues that we don't need to learn about racial issues anymore.

I don't agree that the focus of the film was race. As a matter of fact, I didn't see the film in that light at all. I saw it as a women helping women story... a healing and empowering community support story. I appreciated the honest portrayal of the race issue and how relationships that did develop over the false color line were explained beautifully, for example when Queen Latifah said, "there is no perfect love" to explain why she loved Lilly's prejudiced mother. I honor this line as a strong and true statement. How many of us love others and find that we love through the flaws? We have family members and friends who fall short of perfect- as we do ourselves. Sometimes the most valued love is the most troubled love.

I understood that the story is about forgiveness and finding strength under difficult conditions. Owen writes that "The Secret Life of Bees" is a lesson...rather a whole series of lessons, we no longer need to learn." What is he talking about? We already know how to accept each other and love through our imperfections? We already understand how to get over our overly self-concerned limitation and reach out a helping hand to others? Goodness! Where is he living?

Regardless of how far we have come as a society, we still circle our covered-wagons and shoot at the unknown enemy when we feel threatened. If this statement were not true, we never would have been led into a war with Iraq. Does Gleiberman sincerely think we don't need the lesson that we must love and care for each other regardless of race or nationality ? -that we must accept each other as members of a common human family?

***

***

About the black madona

As described in the book:

She was black as could be, twisted like driftwood from being out in the weather, her face a map of all the storms and journeys she'd been through. Her right arm was raised as if she was pointing the way, except her fingers were closed in a fist. It gave her a serious look, like she could straighten you out if necessary.


There are Black Madonnas found in Puerto Rico, Cuba, Trinidad and Tobaggo as well as other Caribbean islands. For a contemporary example, click on this recent painting by Puerto Rican artist, Elaine Soto, which is called Black Madonna of Hormigueros Puerto Rico with Milagros.


Above painting by Robert Lentz "The Mother of the Streets"
Exhibited at the Marian Library; July 6-August 27, 1993 University of Dayton


Robert Lentz sees in "the spirit and beauty of the icon the expression of a common ground between spirituality, justice and a love of creation." In addition, Mr. Lentz believes that the "painter must be in touch with the divine mystery for the painting to have soul."

***

I see the film, "The Secret Lives of Bees" as a much needed reminder to accept each other and look for love in difficult situations. Further, Queen Latifah's portrayal of August is a most inspirational example of this admirable human aspiration.

Thank you Carol from The Writer's Porch for mentioning this book and film in early February; you brought my attention back to a must read/see.

Lighten Up

Hi friends, I'm on my marquesina with a dear wiggling bundle of puppy love.

I'd like you all to meet Mr. D'Arcy, our new puppy, which makes nine canine critters and one proud and annoyed cat, Miss Junie who share our casita en la montan (~) as.

Miss Junie was found abandoned at a gas station in Bayamon when she was a few weeks old. She is most comfortable sitting right where someone needs to work. Here, she has taken over the writing table.

* * *

Mr. D'Arcy puppy comes to the door and pushes it open. Once inside, he explores a bit and then starts complaining, "I want out. Who made me come in?" He continues 'crying' until someone opens the door to let him out. It's like this over and over again; in then out, out then in! He's just like a toddler who has discovered that when he drops his spoon off the food tray, someone always retrieves it. "What a fun game," he thinks, "I made you move." He's a delightful, active sweet smelling cuddle. Who could ever abandon Mr. D'Arcy?

As far as our ill conceived animal rescue project goes, I can only say in the words of California's Governor, Arnold when he was referring to the budget crisis and getting a little literary inspiration from Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, "When you don't know where you're going, every road takes you there." Where am I being taken with these expensive canine critters? I don't know but maybe it helps to take care of a few who need a home.

* * *

* * *

I also love these determined volunteer tomatoes, which are growing at my in-laws casa along the entrance walk between bright fuchsia pink impatiens. Borders with vegetables and annual flowers make me smile non-stop even after a long day.

How delightful these tomatoes are!

For a light Sunday lunch, I had a few deep red tomato slices drizzled with olive oil on a plate of fresh green peppers and crunchy cucumbers. When I wrote "lighten up" I meant enough depressing muse work for now (Saturday's post) but I am beginning to see that I am thinking of physical connotations too. Some bloggers are writing about winter weight gain (willow) and loss of a stone (Jude in Crete- I love that expression! I think it's 14 pounds). These posts influenced me so maybe I meant something else, too. Okay. I admit that there is no excuse to put on winter weight in the Caribbean but it still happens! Ask any bear, winter hibernation is an instinct, even if it isn't technically cold.

photos...by my husband and daughter...